Like excited children on Christmas morning, the American people rushed into the Oval Office to find …
… George Bush still in it, probably doing a puzzle or something.
Disappointed, they promptly awarded him the all-time record of highest presidential disapproval rating of 76 percent for not being Obama.
This rates higher than even Richard Nixon’s 66 percent when he resigned from office because of Watergate. To be fair — he was hated by hippies, who can’t remember to stay angry at anyone.
He also beat out former record holder Harry S. Truman, who was despised by 67 percent of Americans in 1952 for forcing five-star General Douglas MacArthur to retire.
Bush’s ratings are expected to sink lower and lower each day he refuses to morph into President-elect Barack Obama. By January 19, 2009, it’ll be amazing if he hasn’t started wearing a mask.
Update (2:58 pm):
President Bush has attempted a new way to improve his rating: be seen with the cool new kid with the weird name. Hey, it worked in Ensino Man.