This could still take a while

After eight months of wheeling and dealing, U.S. and Russian negotiators have reached an accord on nuclear disarmament. (No, it’s not total disarmament, which is why they met at all.)

The deal must be signed by President Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev before arsenals are redistributed to friendly regimes slashed, which we imagine will go a little something like this:

OBAMA: OK,  now it’s just time to sign …

MEDVEDEV: You sign first.

OBAMA: … After you.

MEDVEDEV: No, no. I insist.

OBAMA: Alright, we’ll sign it together on the count of three. One … Two

MEDVEDEV: Wait! Do we sign on three or after, like “one, two, three, sign?”

OBAMA: Well, I said “on the count of three,” so on three. Acceptable?

MEDVEDEV: Da.

OBAMA: OK, on three. One … TwoTHREE!

[…]

OBAMA and MEDVEDEV: YOU DIDN’T SIGN! HAHAHAHAhaha-ha ah-ha.

OBAMA: OK, on three …