The song needs more burger

There are a lot of music based items that include “so” and shouldn’t be heard by anyone. Major examples include Pink’s “So What” and So So Def Recordings. Wendy’s, the fast food chain, would like to add something else to that list: one of their own products.

Okay, so maybe calling it one of their own products is a bit generous. A recent kids’ meal promotion includes a compilation of hits from the disco era. One of the songs on the Disco Fever cd includes Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” The song usually comes in the variety with the lyrics of “so bad,” but this copy of the song came with the original lyrics of “so horny.” Won’t somebody think of the children?!!?

As such, Wendy’s has decided to pull the cd from their kids’ meal lineup. And yet, they still continue to let kids be subjected to Kool & the Gang. Monsters.

The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1970-1979)

We have reached the third part in our ongoing series Better Know a Decade History That Happened in the Past. This time, we’re covering the 1970s. While technically The Sixties didn’t end until about 1973, it is still important to acknowledge that the 1970s were in fact a decade, a hairy, oversexed decade.

The good news was that all the assassinations and angry mobs were more or less over by the time the 1970s rolled around, thus, it was time for America to let other countries have a chance at scaring it senseless. All the while the U.S. rejoiced in the feeling that the Vietnam War was over, because allegedly it was.

Grab your polyester and hit the jump. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1970-1979)

BeeGees make heart attacks more bearable

"Stayin' Alive," 1983. Directed by Sylvester Stallone. This is what Hell looks like.When Christopher Bader had a heart attack in the woods one morning, he thanked whatever god he worships that his wife was there.

Until she started singing the f&$king BeeGees.

Debra used the song “Stayin’ Alive” to time the chest compressions she adminstered to her husband. She picked up this nasty idea from an American Heart Association PSA.

Amazingly, despite the title song from the sequel to Saturday Night Fever, he pulled through long enough for paramedics to arrive and administer the defibrillator. But is it really worth living once that song gets in your head?

(Now you can tell us, suckers.)

Disco might be dead, but you won’t be

The good doctor is out for the week, so we can’t give you professional medical advice. Luckily, we don’t need a doctor to tell us this is a crock: a recent study found that the Bee Gees’ hit “Stayin’ Alive” has an ideal beat for giving CPR.

Make whatever jokes you want about the song title actually meaning something deeper than not getting capped while walking through New York City dressed like polyester fire sale. We’ll wait.

Done? OK. Yes, the 1977 hit, which may or may not have been a contributing factor to my parents dating, might be able to save lives. You know what we say? That’s crap. The only thing that song is good for is one of the best scenes in Airplane! Encouraging first responders to think of this song when they give CPR is dangerous. Do you really want your ambulance driver humming the tune when he or she is taking you to the hospital?

Worse yet, what happens if a disco ball drops down from somewhere? Does everyone have to start dancing?