The Eyeore’s tail of penises

After mating, the Goniobranchus reticulata sea slug runs home to put his disembodied penis under his pillow for the Penis Fairy.
After mating, the Goniobranchus reticulata sea slug runs home to put his disembodied penis under his pillow for the Penis Fairy.

If you want to know why we’re losing the War on Animals … Don’t look at us that way. It only looks like all the animals are gone because it’s winter. Come March, and you’ll see that they were just lying in wait for bikini season.

Anyway, if you want to know why we’re losing the War on Animals, it’s because we’re not willing to evolve more creatively. Take, for example, the Goniobranchus reticulata species of sea slug.

Honesty time: we’ve all mated with someone and felt oogy about it afterward. While we mere humans must live in shame, G. reticulata severs off its penis after mating and grows a new (and unoffending) one.

Guys, if sea slugs can solve the “Smell Yo Dick” test before us, what hope do we have as a species?