There are nicer ways to tip

Steve Wilson, who makes his living by picking up other people’s dog poop, stuck pay turd recently.

While cleaning up after some lazy pet owner’s mutt, he found $58 packed in pure, American dog s#@t. He cleaned up the bills, put them in a (presumably) clean plastic bag and returned them to the customer.

We’d like to remind our readers that Mr. Wilson is a professional. If you or someone you know finds a lost dog turd containing money, please deposit said stool at the nearest police precinct.