Tag: dogs

Chavez officially booted from message boards

Just like Hitler, German Chancellor Merkel also enjoys writing in her spare time, parades, and getting kissies from western leaders.Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, is renowned for his trolling. He frequently calls U.S. President Bush “the devil” and also spams Internet message boards with excerpts from Marx and “RON PAUL IN 2008!”

Yesterday, however, he crossed a line: in his counterargument against German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who urged Latin America to give Chavez a geopolitical “time-out,” Chavez compared her to Hitler.

  • They’re both German.
  • Hitler was once a Chancellor.
  • They were both political leaders in Germany.
  • Merkel loves dogs, too.
  • Merkel enjoys Raiders of the Lost Ark, but always “falls asleep” before the end where the Nazis’ faces melt.  (Spoiler alert!)

In response to these latest claims, his memberships to Total Fark, DeviantArt and Salon have been suspended for First Degree Godwinning. To get his screennames reinstated, Chavez will have to renew his IP address and create new Gmail accounts–a very stiff penalty indeed.

Warrior of the Week: Los Angeles

Yes, you read that right. Los Angeles, Calif. is leading the fight against animal-kind, now with a law “requiring most cats and dogs to be spayed or neutered by the time they are 4 months old.”

How will this be possible? They are using a van. (No, seriously.)

“Councilman Richard Alarcon, who […] is a co-author of the bill, brought his two pet Chihuahuas to the event to be neutered in a van operated by the city.”

Of course, we are talking about Hollywood here, so there are some shady exceptions, like “those that have competed in shows or sporting competitions, guide dogs, animals used by police agencies and those belonging to professional breeders.”

So, this doesn’t prevent another direct-to-DVD Air Bud, but it is a step that most cowards are too afraid to take in the War on Animals.  Congratulations, LA: you’re our Warrior of the Week.