Los Angeles has had a rough go of it lately. It’s had a drought, wild fires, mudslides and NCIS: Los Angeles. But things somehow got even worse for Angelenos when a pack of animals ran loose on the streets.
Authorities say a donkey led a herd of goats and sheep through the streets of an L.A. suburb late last week. The beasts refused to comply with lawful orders of police officers to go home. They even managed to evade the cops attempting to arrest them. Considering how friendly L.A. cops can be when arresting you, this shows quite a bit of defiance.
Eventually, police tracked down the owner of the animals, which it was found had escaped through an open gate. The owner helped herd the animals, which for some reason were not charged with a single crime.
Look, I don’t know how to break this to you, but … well, you’re about to get dumped.
Or you’re about to dump somebody. Either way, you are about to be alone, so very alone soon.
How could I possibly know that? Because of Facebook.
David McCandless, a London designer, just released a graph of status updates containing the phrases “break up” or “broken up.” He discovered two peak periods in which the phrases were used: Spring Break and the two weeks before Christmas.
Here’s my interpretation of his data. Continue reading Take it from Snee: You’re about to get dumped
Weddings are great. You get all dressed up and you can even say you went to church that week. However, everyone’s really looking forward to the wedding reception, where there is expected to be a nice spread of food, and more importantly, an open bar.
But sometimes wedding receptions can go wrong. If you are attending a wedding in China any time soon, we strongly suggest you fast the whole time.
This week, around 170 wedding guests had to be rushed to the hospital, when some cooks mistakenly added rust remover to the broth. The rust remover was mistaken for salt, but is not, apparently, as edible as salt. But it was not the only wedding disaster in the country.
In a bizarre coincidence, 61 wedding guests were taken to hospital with similar symptoms a day earlier after a duck-and-donkey-meat banquet in northwest China.
Duck-and-donkey-meat? Our mouths are watering right now.
More from HombresSeriamentes.com, while the Mexican Navy (who knew they had one?) is helping us fight the good fight, not all of Mexico is behind la guerra a los animales.
“Blacky” the burro has been released from jail serving just three days of its sentence, after being tried and convicted of assault in battery (on humans) and found guilty in a court of law. This blog is outraged at this miscarriage of justice. This sets a terrible example for animals, and suggests that they are above the law because they aren’t humans.
We say, if they are not humans, they can certainly be tried as enemy combatants.