Fabulous news regarding DADT

After nearly two years of gay and lesbian advocates asking the Obama administration to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” it appears that Congress will introduce a bill, possibly even this week.

President Barack Obama is reportedly on-board with the plan, albeit “grudgingly” because he didn’t plan to introduce anything until at earliest November, by which time he could find a way to support gays in the military without it sounding “so gay.” The President quickly added, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

President Obama’s hesitation is understandable since his first 18 months in office have been plagued with questions about his sexuality. There was Mustardgate when Obama ordered Dijon mustard for his burger. Or the knowing glances he got in response to asking Secretary of State Clinton if a tie brought out his eyes enough.

Even before his election, he was declared an ivory tower elitist, who pals around with terrorists … terrorists, who might be gay and hate straight people.

Should the amendment make it into defense authorization bill, the repeal would not take effect until after a study by the Joint Chiefs of Staff to ensure that the entire military won’t look gay … you know, except for the gays … who are valuable assets members contributors to national defense.

Take it from Snee: A few more things

As I established last “lightning round,” there are certain thoughts I have that don’t really make an entire Take it from Snee. They’re just ideas I save up from stories I read and, when the week’s particularly slow, I just ejaculate them into one gonzo post.

So, enjoy my brain ejaculations.

I promise to avoid your hair and those pants that are dry clean only. But you’re on your own for your eyes. You don’t like this? Keep ’em shut. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A few more things

It’s like ‘Top Gun’ but in boats … and weird

If Top Gun taught us anything, it’s that communism is best faced over international waters as wet and nakedly as possible. That was 1986.

Since then, the military has faced numerous anti-Top Gun obstacles, including the collapse of communism in the Soviet Union and the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

However, in 2009, the Navy truly loves the ’80s, thanks in part to the Chinese.

During a surveillance mission over 100 miles off the coast of China, the USNS Impeccable found a collection Chinese naval, state and civilian vessels shadowing it. Two of the ships approached, their crews waving Chinese flags and telling the Impeccable to go home. The Impeccable, knowing this was the Top Gun moment they had waited their entire careers for, opened up on them with their fire hoses.

The wet fun didn’t stop there. The Chinese sailors stripped down to their underwear and continued to taunt the American crew provocatively. (What were the chances they’d run into the Chinese on laundry day?)

Creeped out but not wanting to seem homophobic, the Impeccable informed the ships “in a friendly manner” that they were leaving the area. One of the Chinese vessels maneuvered directly in front of the Impeccable, forcing her to an all-stop. They then dropped their large wooden plank right in front of the American’s nose.

Still, the Impeccable escaped. U.S. and Chinese officials have each lodged complaints against the other’s actions in what may be the world’s first maritime legal “You know how I know you’re gay?” arguments.