Tag: dow jones

You Missed It: Just stopping by to say hello edition

Some believe in Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the medical theory that if one does not get enough sunlight, particularly for long periods of time like in the winter, you get depressed and/or irritable. Here we are at the end of February and you know what? I say screw you, SAD, I don’t believe in you! If you were busy winning an Academy Award this week, odds are you missed it.

And the Dow responded with a huge drop
On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama, addressed a joint meeting of Congress. It wasn’t a State of the Union address, the new president just hates Scrubs and everyone who watches it. In any case, during his speech, Obama laid out his plan for economic recovery, which includes not raising taxes for the vast majority of the country, and increased federal funding for projects. Also announced: federally mandated casual Fridays in offices across the U.S.

Brady earns another ring
New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady got married this week. (Sorry, Schools!) Brady and Brazilian model Gisele Bunchen were married in a small ceremony in California. Bunchen’s dogs were present for the ceremony, however, Brady’s kid was not. According to reports, Brady, seeing no passing lanes, sprinted down the aisle and slid before contact could be made.

It’s like Nick is coming right at me!
Have you been eagerly anticipating the Jonas Brothers’ movie? I know Chugs has. Jonas Brothers: 3D Concert Experience is now out in theaters today. According to reviews, it’s, well, the Jonas Brothers, in concert, and in 3D. So yeah, Disney did a good job naming this one. However, there is one big hole, you can get a 3D Jonas Brothers concert experience by going to one of their concerts.

You Missed It: Sidearm edition

It is Friday, the last one we will see in June–at least for this year. Yours truly will be heading up to New York City very soon. If you were getting drafted by the NBA this week, odds are you missed it.

Fire shots in celebration
In a 5-4 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Washington, D.C. handgun law this week, saying it was against the Second Amendment, which guarantees the right to bear arms. Perhaps the most unusual part of the majority opinion written by Justice Antonin Scalia, who said the court interprets it as “the right to bust a cap in some punk’s ass.”

Down with the Dow
The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped more than 350 points on Thursday, making it the second worst day of the year. Some blame the fact that oil hit $140 per barrel for the first time, others on the weakening dollar, but we know it was really caused by the news that Heather Locklear entered a mental hospital that day.

Wonder how long until .xxx shows up?
The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, or ICANN, opened up the Internet’s dot-something realm this week when it decided a whole slew of new domain names can now be possible. ICANN said Arabic, Chinese and other languages can have their own .something address now. In fact, entire words can now be made for .something addresses, including .something. So get ready for SeriouslyGuys.funnynewsblogsite!

Author knighted
Author Salman Rushie was knighted by the Queen of England on Wednesday. Rushdie is best known for his controversial book “The Satanic Verses.” So for all of you Muslims out there, it’s Sir Salman Rushie you want to kill.