If you’ve ever been to college, then you’ve had to endure or–god forbid–participate in a drum circle.
Drum circles are an outdoor event where non-musicians bang drums outside because they got a C on a test and blame the latest shooting, election or editorial for their performance. It’s believed that, by participating in a musical performance, participants can alleviate stress by hitting a noisemaker and feel part of a group of other people hitting similar childrens’ party favors. They are notoriously organized by music majors to prove their degree is useful, even if they don’t become the next John Williams.
What they don’t realize is that they feel better because the joy and relative calm of surrounding dorms has been vampirically sucked away by their noise. This is similar to how a Glenn Beck works.
Fortunately, Africa has heard your cries and will address the situation.