Obama launches Iran D&D expansion

Continuing our report on last week’s premier of President Obama’s Path to Peace Dungeons and Dragons campaign, it appears that the North Korea realm is stalled while U.S. players roll to see if they can search their boats.*

*Helpful Hint: Dwarves wearing Lady’s Sunglasses (+2 stealth) could potentially fit in with the crew.

In the meantime, Dungeon Master Obama has launched an expansion campaign for Iran. It starts the same, only this time, the Path to Peace on the game map is marked by its name in Elftongue: “the clear, open Path to International Acceptance.”

This would require trait sets of honesty and candor, and it couldn’t hurt to roll for bonus charisma and initiative–both of which the wizard Khomeini and his gnome underling, Ahmadinejad, severely lack after their mana-draining Thrown Election.

Obama lays out latest North Korea campaign

The United States Dungeon Master in Chief — and some would argue DM of the Free World — Barack Obama has laid out the latest table in the North Korea D&D game.

While Kim Jong Il might take the Road to War, where U.S. and South Korean special forces lie in wait to give him super painful wedgies, there are other options.

With a critical role, he could bypass the River of Annoyance and renegotiate food supplies from China.

Or, as DM Obama pushes, “There is another path available to North Korea, a path that leads to peace and economic opportunity for North Korea.”

Frustrated at recent events, Obama reinstated that North Korea is out of magic missiles and should stop trying to cast them into the ocean for loot.