We have a Dunkin Donuts located just across from the office where I work. It’s saved me many a long morning, as Chris needs his coffee. And sugar. And donuts. And munchkins (hooray for cannibalism!). For me, deliciousness tends to breed loyalty.
Sometimes it can also breed crime. A Dunkin Donuts in Massachusetts was robbed by three men armed with knives and a hatchet, which seems like a little bit of overkill for a Bavarian creme donut. The men confronted the two employees in the store and ran off with a paper bag. Inside were donuts.
While police feel that the robbers were under the presumption that the day’s earnings were in the bag, I’m pretty sure that the men knew jelly and creme filled goodness littered that magical bag. Heck, I’d be tempted to wear a balaclava into the site by office if it meant I’d get an extra munchkin or 20.
I’d like to start this week’s TifS by congratulating Michelle Malkin and her fearless campaign to scare Dunkin’ Donuts into dropping an ad because she’s afraid of a scarf. If you’re just tuning in (leave those dials on your monitor alone!), Ms. Malkin was offended by an ad featuring Rachel Ray wearing a keffiyeh, the scarf traditionally worn by Islamofascicommuvikings. She threatened a boycott and Dunkin’ Donuts proved that doing things is what they like to do. (In this case, caving.)
However, I can’t leave it at congratulations. You see, Ms. Malkin just didn’t go far enough to assuage my fears of terror, terrorism, terrorists and terry cloths. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Scarves are not enough
Sorry to interupt today’s observance of the War on Animals, but Starbucks is in trouble!
The San Diego Superior Court has ordered the company to pay over $100 million to all of its
waiters baristas in California. They were sued by a former employee who claimed that shift supervisors were included in tip-share, which is in violation of state law.
This venti order of justice could not come at a worse time. Starbucks has been in financial trouble for almost two years now because caffeine junkies have turned their back on them in favor of quicker fixes like Red Bull, Dunkin’ Donuts and crack-coccaine.
Remember the world before Starbucks? When you had to drink a Coke to wake up in the morning? When your tongue wasn’t stained hemorrhoid brown? When you didn’t have a place to show off your Macbook?
Do you really want to go back to using PCs, having money for cigarettes and listening to Peter Cetera un-ironically?
We didn’t think so. Get to a Starbucks today, and let them know what America is really about: not drinking tea.
How do you like your coffee, a cream and two sugars? Or a twig and two berries?
New Yorker John Greco has a late March court date after ordering coffee at a Dunkin’ Donuts drive-through, sans the pants. No word yet as to if he ordered an eclair, donut holes, or both.