Shepherds to meddlesome eagles: Pew pew!

Shepherds in Scotland are tired of eagles making off with their lambs. They’re so tired of it that they’ve decided to step up their game: with laser beams.

White-tailed eagles keep stealing lambs from flocks of sheep in Scotland, and the Scots have decided to try shooting laser beams at them to keep them away. The plan is to point lasers at hills to creep out eagles and keep them away from the countryside, where they go after livestock. The thinking is that eagles will think there’s a prog rock laser show going on (eagles hate those, of course) and avoid the area altogether.

If this plan doesn’t work, they’ll use a death ray.

Once enemies, eagle, salmon team up to attack Seattle power

Animals are taking advantage of our increased dependence on electricity, and what’s worse, they’re joining forces to do so.

According to the local power company, some 200 Seattleans Seattleians Seattlites Sea People lost power last week when a strategically placed salmon struck a power line. Witnesses report an eagle carried the salmon out of a nearby river and dropped it where it would do the most damage. Utility workers recovered the smoked salmon.

Nice try, animals. But if you really want to disrupt Seattle society, try attacking the wifi in coffee shops.

Terror from above

As if we needed to remind you, animals can attack at any time or place. They can even organize coordinated airstrikes, as one Ohio woman found out.

She was driving down a road near Lake Eerie when a fish hit her windshield on purpose, smashing it. The woman said it was like someone had thrown a brick. In reality, an eagle dropped the fish from an estimated 40 feet in the air.

As it turns out, this is not the first time animals have come after her on the road. Before the fish attack, a truck ahead of her hit a small bird which then hit her passenger window.