There are a lot of weird looking animals on this planet. Sometimes we even say they look like aliens. It’s possible we’ve been right the whole time.
According to a study published in a peer-reviewed journal, squid and octopi may have come from outer space. Octopi have the ability to edit their own RNA, which is an ability not found in any other branch of the animal kingdom. Given that recent studies have found that it is possible for organic molecules to exist in space, researchers argue that life may have come from other worlds. They argue that the scientific community can not rule out that squid or octopus eggs, or even the animals themselves, came to Earth millions and millions of years ago this way.
Out with the old, in with the new! Fire up those rocket ships and start packing your suitcases! It’s just like Earth, which means there’s a good enough chance that there’s yet another extra planet out there, so we can repeat the process allllll over again.
One warning: the new planet is 20 light years away, so you’ll need to pack about … one … two … carry the eight … a whole lot of underwear for the trip over.
Remember, in space, no one can hear an emo planet cut itself.
A planet ten times the size of Jupiter is orbiting so close to its parent star, that it orbits in less than a single Earth day. It has one million years until one of the tidal plasma bulges its gravity is excreting on its parent star catch up with it, and then … KAPLOOIE!
So, why is this news? Because, technically, the planet is our galactic neighbor.
So, why isn’t this news? Cue on the word “technically.” By that, I mean that the planet is 325 light years away from Earth.
This may be news to some of you readers, but there are a lot of people getting it on in the world. Some of them, somewhere, are most likely doing it right now (and probably with your mom).
As a result of the more … industrious nations, the Population Reference Bureau predicts that we will welcome our 7 billionth SeriouslyGuys reader into the world by 2011. What kind of Web site will they see here in 2 years?
One they can’t understand, for one, as they will most likely be born in India or Uganda. Also, they will be less than a year old and our humor is at an eighth grade level of sophistication.
There will probably be less War on Animals articles because the growing human population will have eaten most of them.
And perhaps the most trustworthy news site on the Internet, considering how the others throw their hosting space away on colon-cleansing ads and what Sarah Palin said on her Facebook.
And if lucky number 7 billion is reading this in our archives, welcome! If you see us flying over your abject poverty on our jet packs, be sure to wave.
Space, so we’re told, is a very peaceful. You have a nice view of the Earth, you get to go outside for a stroll, even some lucky few have walked on the moon. But they don’t talk about what happens to you when you go into space: you go crazy.
That’s right, it happens to a select few, but they get space dementia, which we all know is totally real. Case in point: Edgar Mitchell, a former astronaut best known for orbiting the moon on Apollo 14, said yesterday that UFOs are real and the U.S. government is covering them up.
Another former astronaut, Harrison Schmitt, who walked on the moon on Apollo 17, says that global warming is fake. He claims that science is being intimidated into supporting global warming because the scientists need their funding. Say, is this why no one really ever hears from Neil Armstrong?
Astronomers only received three-days’ notice about an asteroid whizzing perilously close to the planet we all drink at. Had it actually hit, it would have “exploded on or near the surface with the force of a large nuclear blast.”
Reports are unclear about where it would have impacted, but three days is hardly enough time for anyone to organize an end-of-the -world orgy … except those already orgying it up, but run-of-the-mill group debauchery is hardly a noteworthy celebration, now is it?
We, here at SG, are furious at the astronomy community. In the future, we demand more notice of life-ending cosmic calamities. (Also, more rock n’ roll laser-light shows at planetariums!)
Fortunately, there is a silver lining to this not-so-ominous cloud: the asteroid passed so close that it is caught in Earth’s gravity, so there may be repeat near-death experiences. Keep those hot tubs hot!