Seafood makes you more likely to get it on, study says

More people live on the East and West Coasts than in the rest of the U.S. Is it beaches? The infrastructure? The overall higher standard of life? Science may have the answer.

According to a recent study of 500 couples trying to have a baby, lovers who eat more seafood have more active sex lives and are also more likely to conceive. Couples who ate seafood were 39% more likely to get it on that very same day. Further, 92% of the couples that ate seafood more than twice a week conceived by the end of the study.

So there may be more people on the coasts simply because we have better access to seafood, and bang more.

You Missed It: Can’t spell ‘hurricane’ without ‘eh’ edition

You know what it’s time for, don’t you? It’s time for us to sit down quietly while I shout at you about why the president’s health care reform plan is WRONG, WRONG I TELL YOU. ADMIT IT, YOU WANT TO KILL OLD PEOPLE! Ahem. In any case, if you were busy being released from a Scottish prison this week, odds are you missed it.

Hurricanes are for hosers
The 2009 Atlantic hurricane season is finally underway! The first real hurricane, named Bill. Is churning up the East Coast as we speak. Then again, we aren’t really speaking, but trust me, the hurricane’s out there. The news media is all over this one. Finally, FINALLY they have a big storm to cover during the slowest news period of the year–and then it’s not even supposed to make landfall in the U.S. Don’t worry, news networks, I’m sure there’s another Katrina out there somewhere.

‘Somebody get a nail, a pen and paper, I’ve got some ideas to write down’
One of the largest Lutheran denominations in the country is debating whether or not it will allow gay and lesbian clergy to be in committed relationships. Currently, gays and lesbians are allowed to serve as long as they remain celebate. Ha! Finally, the Catholics are ahead of the Lutherans in something other than numbers. They have had non-celebate gay priests for decades.

All You Need Is Robert Zemeckis
If you have children, you know that they are clamoring for one thing: LSD. Luckily, Robert Zemeckis may answer your child’s prayers with a remake of the Beatles’ 1968 classic Yellow Submarine. This time, it would be done with 3D computer animation. And you guessed, Walt Disney Studios is behind this brilliant idea. You may know Zemeckis from the children’s classic Beowulf. No word yet on whether John, Paul, George and Ringo are signed on to the project yet.

Ah, the first bird of spring!

You can tell it’s spring in most of the country, we seem to be in the midst of a rash of stories about the War on Animals. Truthfully, it still sucks like winter for most of us on the East Coast, but hopefully that is only serving to kill off Punxsutawney Phil and his compatriots.

A truck driver nobly tried to kill an eagle with his vehicle this week, but the enemy was hardier than he imagined. Matthew Roberto Gonzalez of Florida was driving in Nevada when he spotted the target. The eagle crashed through the windshield of the truck and survived more or less unscathed. It then proceeded to criticize Gonzalez’s driving and choice of music.

Nice try, Gonzalez, next time hit ’em with your grill.