Oh Coca-Cola bottle, you’re our only hope!

First it was some European nations. Then Japan. And now? The US is expected to be next. The sky is falling!

Japan is in a recession, it would seem. Who would’ve guessed? The BBC confirms that the global economic climate has slowed down the demand for Japanese exports.

“The downtrend in the economy will continue for the time being as global growth slows,” said Japanese Economy Minister Kaoru Yosano. “We need to bear in mind that economic conditions could worsen further as the US and European financial crisis deepens, worries of economic downturn heighten and stock and foreign exchange markets make big swings.”

What’s really the kicker is that Japan was going through its longest period of economic growth until the suka hit the sub-prime fan last year. Coincidentally enough, just about everything is seemingly cyclical for Japan. Tommy Lee Jones doing commercials, transforming robots as sentient smashy robots, Grand Theft Auto, and now, recessions, as they already experienced one about 7 years ago. The last recession they went through was mostly self-inflicted, but this time around the world’s consumers are messing things up everywhere. And for Japan, most of the issue lies with decreased demand of their products.

When asked how to fix this crisis, our very Bryan Schools gave this sage bit of advice:

SonyBUY IT.