Researchers spend countless hours every year observing animals to try to understand how they communicate. And aside from a few bird owners, no one has bothered trying to teach animals how to talk like us. Until now.
Wikie the orca has learned how to imitate certain sounds, including the word “Hello.” Researchers say they taught the beast how to say a few different words to demonstrate the species’ mimicking abilities. Of course, they forgot that they were teaching English to freaking killer whales. Once they know what we’re saying, there’s no doubt they will use it against us. The only consolation we have is that Wikie lives in an aquarium in France, where her skills won’t be of much use.
The up side is that Wikie was also taught how to mimic fart noises incredibly well.
It took nearly 10 years since they exploded on the New York scene, but Al-Qaida has finally gotten their particular brand of propaganda translated into the English language.
When it comes to being on the radio, it used to mean you were just ugly. Nowadays, it also helps to be a moron like Michael Savage.
Cows: They’re tasty, they’re full of milk that is part of this complete breakfast, but are they dumb? We tend to think of farm animals as stupid and docile–completely under our control. We forget, of course, the bloody coup that was George Orwell’s Animal Farm.
So we just got through an election and the first half of Thanksgristmas, and that means I had to listen to a lot of stupid. This is the third time we’ve gone through this, so I shouldn’t have to explain it to you.
The LPGA has just passed a 
So, I was at Taco Bell for lunch (because nothing is more American than mystery meat and cheese in a flour tortilla). I waited patiently in line, using my time productively by deciding how I wanted my tortilla folded, and when it was my turn to order, I stepped up to the register.