Study: We’re not as manly as we used to be

The internet trolls are right, men today just aren’t as manly as they used to be. But it’s not how they think it is. Turns out we don’t have as many swimmers.

Between 1973 and 2011, men’s sperm counts have dropped by more than half, according to a new study. That means that you’re not as potent as hairy, mustachioed men of the early 70s. But it’s not something that’s happening to men worldwide, it’s only men in western countries that have fewer sperm. Researchers think it’s related to weight, lack of exercise and smoking.

That’s not fair. Men in the 70s used cocaine to stay thin, the only exercise was disco dancing and everyone smoked.

 

Science: Worrying about fitness could kill you

Are you worried about your lack of physical activity? Do you feel bad about not exercising as much as you should? You’re better off if you stop thinking about it, science says.

A new study out of Stanford University has found that the stress you put on yourself when do don’t feel as fit as those around you increases your risk of death. Those who felt satisfied with the amount of exercise they do regularly were healthier overall. Researchers also believe that comparing your fitness against others’ around you can negatively affect your health.

So be happy with your own level of activity. And if you’re not working out (this is America, so we’re probably talking about you), don’t worry about it. You just might save your life.

Men will live longer if they don’t work out, science says

Men, if you want to live longer, stop working out. You read that correctly, working out may kill you, according to a Yale professor.

We’ve all heard that working out is good for you, but what if it wasn’t? According to Yale anthropologist Richard Bribiescas, as men age, they lose some of the testosterone in their bodies, and because the chemical is kind of harmful for human bodies, including the heart, its decrease has been linked to men living longer. If you’re an older man and you work out a lot, your body is still producing as much testosterone as ever, which means your body still has to process that hormone, which could shorten your life.

So if any of you have a death pool for The Guys, the smart money is on Rick Snee.

Runner’s high like smoking weed, science says

It turns out, stoners and runners have more in common than they think, according to a new study.

It’s well documented that runners are usually drinkers. That’s why so many running events involve beer. But it turns out that runners don’t just like getting drunk, they get high, too. The runner’s high isn’t just about feeling superior to everyone else, it triggers cannabinoid receptors in your brain, which can also be stimulated by marijuana, researchers at Oxford found.

Dude, just think about how high you could get if you smoked pot while you ran.

Drink yourself to fitness

If you would rather do 12-ounce curls at a bar than lift weights in a gym, science is here to make you feel good about your life choices.

According to a recent study, you can probably just have some wine to get the same benefits of working out. Resveratrol, a compound found in red wine, was found to improve heart function, as well as muscle strength, which you might notice are some benefits of exercising.

Even better, mix some vodka in with your sports drink when you go to the gym and get double the benefits.

Drink like an athlete

australian-gatoradeDo you get easily bored during exercise? If only someone had developed a product that you can drink that makes mundane activities like family reunions and bowling more exciting. If only …

Australian scientists knew the answer to our rhetorical question before we could even ask it. They’ve developed a beer with electrolytes — or, what plants crave — that rehydrates both you and your liver.  (Bonus: it’s a light beer, so you won’t accidentally bulk up on it, ladies.)

Testing showed that, out of four beers, it was the best at hydrating you after a workout. This is pretty much how The Guys choose anything: what’s the best option for rehydration? Uh-huh, Gatorade, right. And what’s the best option on tap?

Special thanks to Patrick H. for the link.

Ditch the wheel: scientific secret for slimmer, sexier mice

After a canker sore medicine caused this mouse to lose weight without dieting or exercise, LSU lab assistants can't resist touching his new six-pack.
After a canker sore medicine caused this mouse to lose weight without dieting or exercise, LSU lab assistants can’t resist touching his new six-pack.

You know, we keep hearing about all these great things science was supposed to do for us, but it sure seems like it’s fallen short in recent years. Personal jetpacks, flying cars and exterminating everyone over 30 are all now 13 years overdue. Basically, thanks for the microwave ovens, scientists, but what have you done for us lately?

Well, science delivered, and it delivered big. Get ready for slimmer, sexier mice, because doctors at Louisiana State University have found the secret to exercise- and diet-free weight loss.

LSU researchers injected mice that they had fattened up with amlexanox, a drug normally used to treat canker sores in humans. The mice lost the weight through increased metabolism, not by moving around more or eating less. Once off the drug, the mice gained the weight back, but it was too late for their young, sexy new spouses to dump them.

The next step is to test this treatment on obese humans, who look forward to getting that wheel out of their living rooms.

Ask Dr. Snee: Actively answering letters

Hello there, and welcome to another round of Ask Dr. Snee. I’m pretty busy right now, training this group of interns. But I figured that since this week’s topic is getting Americans more active, I could use your letters as a training opportunity.

Speaking of, you ever notice how these “exercise more” campaigns always coincide with the Summer Olympics? That’s America’s old Cold War fever setting in again. It’s not the same as when footraces were the world’s most obvious analogy for the arms race, but China’s kind of like that rebound nemesis every superpower needs after a break-up.

So, get set for some great exercising tips (dudes) and a stiff, awkward bed-side manner (ladies).  Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Actively answering letters

Another reason to always wipe gym equipment

Speaking of the mystery that is the woman’s orgasm, researchers are delving into a phenomenon known as the “coregasm.” As more women work out, more are reporting achieving sexual pleasure and even orgasms during exercise. The majority of the cases occur during abdominal workouts — hence the “core” in “coregasm” — but other culprits include “weight lifting, yoga, bicycling [not too surprising there] running and walking or hiking.”

Although the study’s author has heard men claim they experience coregasm, too, we’re a little hesitant to buy it. Come on, the male coregasm? That’s just a myth.

Home exercise Schwinners and losers

Fitness equipment company, Nautilus, recalled 10,000 elliptical machines for fall hazards. Nine Schwinn 460 units are reported to have detached or broken foot plates, which was a shock to Nautilus because that would require more than one use in the home.

A company spokesperson assured us on the condition of anonymity that the line poses no danger in its popular “coat rack” mode, though allowing dust to settle can trigger allergies.