Have you ever wondered what a “social media guru” or “expert” does? As far as we can tell, they follow random people on Twitter and post links to buzzspeak essays by other (presumably) unemployed “SEO managers.”
Or … they could be The Fuzz!
Police, FBI, Secret Service and even the IRS are infiltrating the MySpace, Facebook and–in extreme cases–the Friendster to find the goods on you. To bypass your security settings, they’re setting up undercover identities, asking to become part of your online menagerie of familiar screen names.
Once they’re in, you’ll probably forget all about them, like that guy you met that one time at that place with the shots served in test tubes. (Quickest abortion turnaround time, yet!) And then they watch for any pictures of illegal activity or status changes that conflict with your alibis.
So, next time you get a friend request, ask them, “Are you a cop?” If they say no, then they’re probably lying because they’re undercover, so you should destroy your computer.
That’s what I thought.
Living in Russia is tough. I mean, the road is always forking you, your currency sounds like the currency in The Legend of Zelda and just around the corner is Chernobyl, the city you’d just love for the rest of the world to forget about it.
And then there’s Moscow. I mean, sure, it’s the largest city in the Russian federation, but that’s like saying you’re king of the landfill. There’s a threat to life everyday for you-grand theft auto, police impersonation, a ridiculously high murder rate, homicide inducing karate experts-
Oh yeah. They’re rampant. You can find from hotels to hostels. And they’re neat freaks. Oh MAN, are they EVER neat freaks. If they think for even a second that you, a mild civilian, might pass on lice to you or a loved one, they will kill you in a heartbeat. Yup, no hesitation will be given to the matter.
So what’s the true solution to the problem? It’s not social or financial change for the country. Just teach everyone three simple words: SWEEP. THE. LEG.
Hey, readers. How’s it going? Been working on the novel you talked about? (Rhetorical questions.)
Oh, what’s that? “How’s married life?” you ask?
What a great question that I haven’t been asked since the receiving line five minutes after slipping the priest a fiver. Until now, I’ve been fumbling through it, answering as objectively as I can with less than three months of experience.
However, it’s been three months, so I can honestly explain what married is like now. The past 90 days have turned me into a marriage expert — a marriage Nazi, even — in that anyone else’s advice about marriage is sad, ridiculous and should probably be exterminated in a camp somewhere. (The advice, not the person.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: This is how married life is