Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Blackwater nicknaming ritual …
Sgt. Blutarsky: From now on, your Blackwater nickname is “Weasel.”
From now on, your name is “Mothball.”
Kroger, your Blackwater nickname is “Pinto.”
Kroger: Why “Pinto?”
Sgt. Blutarsky: [belches] Why not?!
Dorfman: What’s my Blackwater name?
Sgt. Blutarsky: Dorfman, I’ve given this a lot of thought. From now on … your name is “Savage Viking.”
Dorfman: … “Savage Viking?“
Apparently, Blackwater’s attorneys think it reflects poorly on their defendants when their mercenary nicknames are used in court during muder trials. Really, who would convict someone named “Murder” of murder based solely on their name? That seems awfully “Extreme” or even “Savage.”
Let this blog state for the record that I want my Blackwater nickname to be Jagged Metal Cock.
(Special thanks to Matt Staggs.)