Dude extorts own mother, fails

OK everyone, I know that my last story probably isn’t the most feel good story of year. However, this one is, though more in a quasi-National Lampoon’s Vacation/Naked Gun subplot vein.

So there’s this dude. And this dude is hard up for money, because, y’know, economy. So what does he do? He tries to get 30 million yen by calling his mom up at 2 am after not coming home Friday night, claiming that he has her son held hostage and wants the money.

The 31 year old man didn’t come home to his mom. Let that sink in.

Mom, being the worrying parent she is, had already filed a missing persons report when he didn’t come home Friday night. She lets the police know, and mentions that it sounded like her son was the one on the phone. After five hours of police searching, they found him parked in a car down by the river. Police detained him, and the reason for all this?

“[H]e did it because he thought his misappropriation of company funds was about to be discovered, and because he wanted to cause some trouble for the company.”

Simultaneous failure attempts FTW.