We named the dog a character witness

Riverside County, Calif., prosecutors have charged a 10-year-old boy with “murder involving a gun.” According to authorities, the boy intentionally shot his father, a regional leader of the National Socialist Movement, a.k.a. the Neo-Nazis.

His defense attorney said he may make an insanity plea, but we kinda hope he’ll set a new precedent with the first-ever “Indiana Jones” defense.

It’s good to be the Sheen

In today’s job market, one wrong tweet or photograph can get you fired faster than Charlie Sheen at an AA sponsorship.

What’s that? Charlie Sheen’s antics with ex-wives, porn stars and kids (oh my!) were in the freaking newspaper, and CBS is merely “concerned?”

It probably helps that he’s currently playing a tamer version of himself on a show that wins awards keeps making money, but damn, actors’ unions just beat teachers’ unions.

What’s more presidential than making new citizens?

Proving that the U.S. isn’t the only country with an oppositional party that overcompensates with moral outrage, the South African party, Congress for the People,  is asking for President Jacob Zuma’s resignation.

Zuma, who already has 3 wives and 20 children, fathered another one out of wedlock. That’s right: it wasn’t even with one of his three wives! What ever happened to marital fidelity?!

(Of course, were this a French African country, his wives would probably accept his mistress.)

Critics are citing the statistic that “one in nine South Africans is infected with HIV.” They argue that Zuma’s out of wedlock child sets a bad example.

We’re not saying that South Africa has a … shoddy understanding of AIDS, but not only do they seem to believe that simply more South Africans equals more AIDS, but Zuma himself said, for a separate sex charge, that “he took a shower after the act to minimize the chance of infection” after (allegedly consensual) sex with an HIV-positive family friend.