Tag: Fayetteville

There’s nothing like biting the hand that feeds you

We don’t like animals, and if you haven’t figured it by now, they don’t like us either. Nonetheless, even if we keep them as prisoners of war, but still adhere to the Geneva’ish Convention, the monsters still manage to screw up that relationship.

Take Jason Wiles of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Some might say that he was tempting fate by having many venomous snakes on his property. We like to think of him as a hardened warden. Like many felons, a green mamba decided to tempt fate and its work release program, biting Wiles. This could have been potentially deadly as green mambas are known for being one of the most deadly snakes in the world. Luckily, it was apparently a “dry bite,” and Wiles beat the odds.

However, the green mamba apparently didn’t know that we humans have a zero tolerance policy. It and the many deadly snakes on Wiles’ property were rounded up and taken out like the dirty animals that they are. Maybe word will spread out about this “example.”

Virginia is for pedophilic gamers

Who knew that chatting up 13-year olds via Xbox Live then asking them for naked photos would be so frowned upon? What’s that you say? Anyone with a shred of common sense? What’s also that you say? We did very early on in our SG career? That’s right, we did.

One man who learned that lesson the hard way was 24 year old Portsmouth, Virginia resident Ryan Edwin Donker. Donker, whose very last name might even be considered inappropriate for those underage, admitted to police that he had asked for naked photos of an Xbox Live user from Fayetteville, Arkansas. He was arrested, extradited to Arkansas, charged with a felony and held on $20,000 bond.

The Fayetteville Police Department recorded multiple Xbox Live conversations between Donker and the boy following the first incident.

According to reports from the Northwest Arkansas Times, Donker told police that requests for naked pictures from the boy were a “joke.” Right. Whatever you say, Donker.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Virginia, sometimes you make me want to live in another state.