Science says you’re afraid of snakes, spiders

There are a lot of questions we seek to answer as humans, and for all of the non-BS ones for people who act like philosophy matters, there is science. Let’s all thank the hardworking scientists who answered the question, “Are snakes and spiders scary?”

Turns out they are.

According to researchers, humans are wired to see these ugly creatures as scary, it helped keep our ancestors alive. How do we know this? Some scientists showed babies pictures of spiders and snakes and found that they have a natural negative reaction to them. That means that we’re probably born with it. Oh yeah? Then why does anyone live in Australia?

If you ask us, the scientists just wanted an excuse to show babies scary pictures.

Woman afraid of newspapers may not be crazy

The good news is, her phobia will die soon.

A woman in England has an intense fear of newspapers, so much that she cannot even look at them, according to reports, granted they are from British newspapers, so it could be made up. For about 25 years, Diane Freelove has had chloephobia, and it’s gotten worse as time goes on. At one point, she only needed to wash her hands after holding a newspaper, now she hates the smell of them.

On the list of irrational fears, this is not one of them.

Settling down in every sense

... is knowing that 8s and above are insane.
… is  realizing that 8s and above are insane.

Hey there, people in committed relationships! Isn’t it wonderful to have found someone who finally appreciates you after possibly years of dating people who didn’t know a good thing when they had it?

… Yeah, about that. Research indicates that at least one of you in your relationship would rather settle than die alone — even if your current relationship isn’t that great — and it isn’t necessarily the woman.

‘In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single,’ said co-author Dr. Geoff MacDonald.

But, let’s not get too insulted. After all, you both chose to be disappointed by each other, not left for dead in a motel bathtub full of ice by someone else. See? You have more in common than ever.

We could use a drink after reading this

New research indicates that heavy drinkers may have a harder time recovering from traumatic events. Not only that, but they’re also more likely to experience them because, you know, booze.

The University of North Carolina School of Medicine study consisted of two groups of mice — one that had been drinking very heavily and one that silently judged the drinkers and hoped they would die in a car crash. Each were exposed to a certain sound, accompanied by electrical shocks.

After a while, the scientists backed off on the shocks, merely playing the sound that the mice had come to associate with the wrath of God or, at the very least, Emperor Palpatine. The non-drinking mice recovered quickly, no longer fearing the sound. Meanwhile, the boozing mice still feared the sound and froze every time it played.

We’re dubbing this the Chumbawamba Effect.

Morality is only dirt deep

Rotten meat is yucky. Boils are repugnant. Gangrene needs to stay in the medieval time. Still, why we feel this way might go deeper than just because of evolution: that disgust might have created our morality.

Valerie Curtis, a researcher at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, argues that disgust evolved for the much same reasons that fear did. Disgust keeps us away from threats that can’t be seen, in the same simplified way that fear can keep us alive. Curtis tells us that the theory that the capacity for disgust was at the foundations of our modern conception of morality:

“If I go around leaving poo in your front lawn or spitting in your cups or making nasty smells in public transport or if I go to church in my pajamas, I’m threatening you with my bodily fluids. These are manners, but they’re also the precursor of moral behavior. That’s at least one of the ways that morality could have evolved in society: simple rules about not getting other people sick with your emanations. If you sit people in a room with bad smells, they punish more severely. Your sense of disgust for people’s bad behavior is tied together with your organic system.”

So, what can we take away from this research? A scientist saying “poo” is hilarious.

Today in filthy bathrooms

Apparently a lot of people are worried about the cleanliness of public toilets, some even worried about sitting on the seat. They’re even rating dumpsheds online like they’re pissing in college professors. (That’s another web site.)

This is just a friendly SG Reminder: what do you think you’re leaving in there? Bathrooms are tile enclosures for depositing human waste. Your poo-poo. Your pee-pee.

You know why bathrooms are disgusting? Because you use them. And us. But we’re a different story.

So, next time you’re in a public toilet, how about just getting the job done? Believe us, the rest of the bar more than makes up for that place where you crap in a chair.