Tag: federal

Only war during hunting season?

Fowl appear to be out to foul up the federal government, which has run them afoul of this blog. (Too much?) First, we find that turkeys, be they jive or of some other condition, are attacking our letter carriers for no established reason.

Now, ducks are attempting to clog up our legal system with frivolous court orders. On Long Island, New York, an alert citizen, most likely a reader of this blog, shot his neighbor’s pet duck with a pellet gun. He wounded the animal and probably taught it a lesson it won’t soon forget. However justified the man’s actions were, the duck convinced a court that not only was the man at fault, but the duck was in imminent danger and needed an order of protection.

The Guys are supportive of the man and are appalled that birds of any feather can be treated with so favorably when all they seek is the destruction of our government. Activist judges are species traitors.

No mar sonar

Of all the branches of the military, the U.S. Navy is probably the most finicky about just which side it is on in the War on Animals. This really makes no sense, seeing as how the military is supposed to help us fight wars, but nevertheless, there have been some issues with them in the past, including training dolphins and sea lions to protect the country’s shores, like we can really trust the enemy. The Navy has also roughed up yours truly when I tried to get onto the Naval Academy campus hunting a green pigeon.

Last month, President George Bush exempted the Navy from environmental protections, basically saying they could use their sonar whenever they want, even though traitors claim it kills whales–like that’s a bad thing. Before that, the issue had been bounced around in the federal courts. First the Navy could not use sonar because it might harm whales, then the courts said they could use sonar no matter what.

Now, the courts are saying Bush cannot take the steps necessary to keep our oceans free of mammals. That’s right, the Navy is back to no sonar mode. These liberal, critter-loving courts need to get their heads out of the sand and realize there is a war going on. If the courts had it their way, we wouldn’t be able to monitor our enemy’s mating calls, either!