Tag: fingers

All fun and games until somebody loses fingers

Two high school students lost eight fingers and one thumb in a tug-of-war match, breaking the record previously set in 1904 with four fingers and four handlebar mustaches amputated.
Two high school students lost a combined eight fingers and one thumb in a tug-of-war match, breaking the record previously set in 1904 with four fingers and four handlebar mustaches.

A game of tug-of-war at South Monte High School ended abruptly when the rope snapped, amputating a combined nine fingers from two participating students. One lost four fingers on his right hand, and another lost four fingers on her right hand and left thumb, which makes her the default winner since the match ended without a traditional victor. It’s believed that the students had wrapped the rope around their hands, and that this generated the force necessary to snap the rope and tear their fingers off.

The match was part of the school’s annual celebration of Spirit Week. Even if their fingers are reattached successfully, it may take months before they have the full range of motion necessary to convey that they have spirit, yes they do. And until doctors are able to reattach them, the students will be unable to stop farting after the ultimate pulling of fingers.

Not so funny now, is it, Uncle Jack?

[Via Patrick H.]

Purell to become newest crime tool

A new study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences theorizes that it may be possible to identify individuals using their bacterial trace.

You see, everyone’s covered with bacteria, not just skanky people. Over 100 species worth are all over you right now, spreading to everything you touch. Scientists refuse to call this “the Human Slug Trail,” despite all of our letters. And just like snowflakes, only 13 percent of any person’s contamination field is identical to any other person’s.

So, imagine you’re a writer for CSI or work in the much smaller field of actual crime scene forensics. The Icy-Hot Killer has struck another orphanage, but has left no fingerprints. (And, no, there isn’t any semen.) But say they left their calling card: a single can of Icy-Hot. It may be print-free, but unless they wiped it with Chlorox wipes, there should be a bacteria sample.

(Duh-duh!)