If you have a pacemaker, you probably need to back away from your computer. You also are probably glad that you have a machine that’s keeping your ticker ticking. But did you know that the government is tracking you?
In Ohio, authorities say they charged a man with arson and insurance fraud after examining the data from his pacemaker. Last fall, the 59-year-old man’s house burned down. He told police that as the house was burning, he was able to pack some bags and get them out of the house. Police obtained a warrant for the data on the man’s pacemaker, and a doctor said his heart rate did not match that of a man rushing to pack and carry heavy suitcases.
With that, police said they had enough evidence to say the man packed his suitcases ahead of time, because the fire was no accident.
The danger posed by animals is real, folks. It’s very, very real. We cannot caution you enough against trusting animals that you call pets, because no matter how much you love them, they want to destroy your life, including burning down your house.
In South Carolina, a sheriff’s deputy is now homeless because one of her animals torched her home when she was gone. The theory is that the deputy’s pig knocked over a heat lamp in an animal pen, setting a fire that spread to the house.
Pets, much like children, gain our affection only to use our emotional attachment against us and bend us to their will. It’s no secret. But from time to time we need a reminder to stay vigilant with our pets, even the slowest of them.
In San Antonio, a tortoise nearly burned down his owner’s house and the neighbor’s house when he knocked over a heat lamp. According to reports, the heat lamp was knocked on to a mattress, which then caught fire. The fire was so bad that it spread to the next house over. The neighbor’s house actually got the worst of the damage, estimated to be $150,000 worth. Of course, the tortoise escaped the fire unharmed, and gullible authorities have not charged him with arson.
When you undergo surgery, you’re typically not allowed to eat for about a day ahead of time. Doctors say they want your system to be clear when you go under the knife, but it turns out that means more than you think.
Cleveland is a tough, proud town on Lake Erie. Sure everyone likes to make fun of its sports teams because they are awful, but the people endure. And it’s no wonder that people in The Cleve yearn for days gone by. Those who miss the 1970s may soon have a reminder on tap.
In Nova Scotia, Canada, firefighters rushed to the scene of a grass fire this week, probably because there aren’t many building there to catch fire. When they hooked up the hose to a fire hydrant, no water came out. They later found that the hydrant was completely clogged with fish.
The good news here is that we’re still finding new ways to kill fish, but the bad news is that this tactic could put us all in danger.
The one foolproof way to kill something is to use fire on it, unless it’s a dragon or something, those things love fire. When you see a spider, you may be tempted to burn it, but this is part of its game.
A woman in Kansas found this out when she saw a spider in her duplex. Wanting to kill the beast, she did the most reasonable thing and tried to burn the spider by setting towels on fire. Instead, she ended up getting a visit from the fire department. To make matters worse, she was even arrested for what she had done.
We have no word on the fate of the spider, but our guess is that if it survived it also eluded authorities, because spiders are sneaky like that.
Gents, when a lady asks you to buy her some ice cream, perhaps you should.
In Florida, authorities say that a man refused to buy his woman a McFlurry from McDonald’s, so she set his car on fire. After an argument about getting the frosty treat, the woman apparently grabbed the man’s car keys, dumped alcohol and gasoline on the car, and set it ablaze.
Which begs the question, why did she take his keys?