Sexual frustration > gaming frustration

News bite: A high school student, frustrated, over a recent gaming session at an Internet café in South Korea set light to a warehouse Saturday evening.

The 15-year-old told police that he torched the warehouse, located at the top of a four-story building, because “his computer games did not go well.” The fire did an estimated four million won in damage.

Nice going, kid. It’s good that Korea isn’t letting a nasty stereotype stop them from being socially awkward.

Their teamwork will be the end of us

A fire set in a house? Bad.

A fire set in a house to rid the world of cats? Great.

A dog going in to save a litter of kittens? Good. He might do our job for us.

The dog saving the kittens and still being alive, thus adding more soldiers to their side? Not so good.

How To: Clean your domicile

Summer’s finally over and the holidays draw near, which means you’re about to fill your house with a bunch of crap: hidden Halloween candy, those yams you only pretended to eat, other people’s presents and decorations galore.

It’s time to clean up while you can still keep the windows open, lest you choke on last year’s dust.

It’s also a time to set priorities, like do you need a copy of every newspaper that mentions your town’s name? How did those Beanie Baby investments pan out, especially in this period of economic woe?

If you can’t afford to let this year’s crap pile on top of last year’s worthless junk, then you’ve hit the right URL. SeriouslyGuys presents how to clean your domicile. Continue reading How To: Clean your domicile

Achievement Unlocked: Arson

Apparently a family in Michigan didn’t get the memo that the original Xbox runs fairly hot (like its big brother) and possesses a power cord that can cause fires. Subsequently, the eight-pound console has toasted their house and business.

The fire started on August 25 as a result of a son who forgot to turn off his console and decided that the best place for his notebook was right next to the Xbox’s ventilation ducts. Firefighters who investigated the scene think that the Xbox could have been on in the family’s basement for as long as four days before igniting the notebook.

The family wasn’t privy to the fact that Microsoft had recalled all of its previous power cords, and initially wanted to seek damages against the company. After checking out what a legal battle would cost, they’ve decided that just putting their lives together after this disaster is enough punishment. When asked by MLive if they would buy their son a new Xbox, the mother said, “I’m really not sure.” Classy, MLive. Classy.

At least now there are grounds to ask for an upgrade. Hope that one just red rings the console and not their residence.

Truthful Headline of the Day

CNN didn’t pull any punches with today’s Headline of the Day: “A puking bride, crazy squirrel and a fire.”

No, it’s not a bunch of highlights from a Passover holiday special — it’s about weddings, which is a hot topic this time of year. Chances are, if you’ve recently graduated college, you have about 20 of these to go to all year.

If you’re lucky, maybe you, too, will have an interesting story to tell. Unless it’s open-bar; then there are no stories to remember.

“Hot blooded, and Japanese …

I CAN HAZ SOOPER POWERZ NOW?… feel like I’m burning at a 100 degrees.”

Ah, Japan, a land where tentacles and school girls run one in the same, food comes raw and pizza has shrimp on it. Now, it too can join the ranks of China, America, South Africa and other countries where simply unbelievable police practices have taken place. Japanese police arrested a gentleman who was reported to be “acting violently,” but before doing so, the suspect doused himself with kerosene previous to the boys in whatever color Japan’s police wear dragging his psychotic self in for questioning.

Now, here the guy is, sitting in extremely flammable clothes that he’s refused to change out of, in a building where, as it’s blatantly emphasized, no smoking is allowed. He requests a little smoke break, at which an officer gave him a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

What happens next should not be too surprising. Of course the individual sets himself on fire and died of it, and now the police are kind of sorta wondering if the officers in charge of this incident should be arrested, or if it happened precisely as they said. No cameras or other witnesses were present, and Japanese police aren’t the nicest interrogators in the world. Now, me, if I was going to set a guy on fire, though, I don’t think I’d try to blame it on that kind of carelessness: I’d rather come out and say it. Would you rather be known as a murderer or “that moron who gave that crazy guy that lighter”?