Tag: fish

Fish DNA yields first ever The Glubber

GLUB GLUB GLUB.

Scientists (though only slightly perturbed) at the University of Connecticut have made adjustable LEDs out of strands of salmon DNA. The DNA is mixed with dye that absorbs UV light and emits bright white light.

The team used two different dyes: one absorbs UV light emits blue visible light, and the other absorbs part of the blue light to emit the desired color of light. The proportions of the two dyes can be altered to create an efficient, easily color-tunable light. The LEDs can be tuned to emit either warmer or colder white lights.

The use of DNA as the base polymer also has its purposes. DNA is a very strong polymer, lasting 50 times longer than acrylic. The DNA fibers also orient the dye molecules in the best way possible to make the energy transfer happen.

The process seems a bit overly involved for the result. The scientists have to extract fish DNA, then spin it into nano-fibers, and then coat a UV LED with the fibers. Of course, how many other technologies can claim that their efficiency comes from fish DNA?

So, does this mean that we need to kill all the fish? Not necessarily now, as their usefulness for lighting hallways and bedrooms at night for small children just became tenfold. Adjustable color usefulness, at that!

Sleeping with the goldfishes

When you run a pet store, you expect order, receive and sell animals. This is a slave trade the Guys wholeheartedly agree with. But when you order some fish, you generally expect to receive some fish.

A pet store in Pennsylvania instead receive a message from the animal kingdom in the form of a human corpse. Rather than getting the fish the store ordered, instead they got the body of a 65-year-old San Diego man who the mainstream media would have you believe died of Alzheimer’s disease, but we know better.

US Airways said the delivery was a mix-up in the shipment of cargo. The body was supposed to go to a lab in Allentown, Pennsylvania. The good news is the fish did not end up getting shipped anywhere, and probably died at the airport.

(Via The Consumerist)

Fish attacks teen

Folks, you don’t have to be in the water to be in danger when you’re out on a lake. Sure, it may seem like the only danger is beneath the surface, but a teen in Arkansas found out otherwise.

Seth Russell is 15, he apparently enjoys the outdoors. For that, our enemies saw fit to attack young Seth. He was on an inner tube being towed by a boat, when out of nowhere, a big fish, suspected of being a silver Asian carp, jumped out of the water and hit him in the face, knocking him unconscious and breaking his jaw.

“He doesn’t remember anything at all,” the boy’s mother, Linda Russell, said last week. “He was laughing, and the next thing he remembers, he is waking in a hospital.”

Just plain horrible.

And apparently, this species of carp is hitting people left and right. This means that we need to go after these (Arkans)Asian fish and have us some sushi. Revenge, after all, is a dish best served cold, raw and wrapped in seaweed.

The loveliest of all was the …

There is a lot of scary news out there today, and the positive spin is coming from that liberal bastion of print media, USA Today.

First off, a unicorn has been found in Italy. OK, well not a real unicorn, because it’s a deer. However, it does indeed have a horn in the middle of its head. No picture is available, but an artist’s rendering makes it look nothing short of frightening.

Remember, the unicorn was smote by God himself for being too damn stubborn to get on a boat with all the other animals when the floods came. The existence of a unicorn today is blasphemous and clear sign that the animals are not only at war with us, but God, too.

Scientists in Indonesia have found macaque monkeys that have learned how to fish. Folks, this is way too human-like. Pretty soon, people are going to start saying we might be somehow related to these creatures. Though it was discovered these monkeys learned how to fish, what was more shocking was that they were also wearing sleeveless shirts and drinking Budweiser.

The sea is teeming with lethal life

We’ve been covering the dangers of the ocean a lot lately, but there seems to be more happening this time of year in the warmer seas and the cold depths, where animals are designed to withstand such harsh climate.

On this front, we have some shocking news to report: killer jellyfish are real and they seem to be breeding like rabbits. Yes, these things are not only weird looking, they can also kill you with a single sting and they happen to be having something of a baby boom. They are no doubt massing for an all-out assault on our shores. Just remember this: they can’t hurt you on land.

However, animals are not the only ones making moves in the war at sea. Swedish scientists are planning to launch 60 fish in a rocket from Antarctica. It’s nice to see the Swedes finally join us in our fight, and making an entrance with marked creativity. Sure, the scientists say it’s an experiment to figure out motion sickness, but we know better. It’s called sending a message.