There’s one born every minute between 1950 and 1959

Anti-aging products are a booming industry–as in baby boomers are buying them all up. (If you regret the 10 seconds of your life lost reading that last sentence, too bad. No refunds.) Although none are proven to work as advertised, the cosmetic surgery, hormone replacement, skin care and fitness industries are predicted to “increase from $80 billion now to more than $114 billion by 2015.”

However, not every boomer is falling for “look young quick” schemes. The pinnacle of boomer presidents, Bill Clinton, has become a vegan, proving there’s nothing he won’t do to feel younger, liberal breasts.

A push-up? Eh, good ’nuff

Taking a page from the Department of Education, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has lowered their exercise expectations. They once suggested working out 30 minutes a day, five days a week; now they can live with two hours a week.

So, that leaves you a lot of options. You could go for a 10 mile run once a week and then carpool to your garage the rest of the week, or you could count each time you get up from your seat as one of 200 reps at the office.

Basically, all you have to do is get out of bed everyday and try not to roll to the shower and the government says you’re fit enough.

See what you’ve done, America? You’ve turned our fitness gurus into hapless enablers.

How To: Get in shape

The trees are budding, the temperatures are rising and the birds are singing. This can mean one of two things: 1) you are fighting off a delusional fever or 2) it’s spring time. For argument’s sake, let’s go with the latter on this one.

Because it’s spring time, you have probably realized that it’s time to shed your winter coat of blubber that has kept you warm all winter and helped you save money on the heating bill. The Guys are fitness buffs, as we have shown already. So now we are here to show you how to get in shape. Continue reading How To: Get in shape