Anheuser-Busch and Stolichnaya vodka distributor, William Grant & Sons, have objected to their labels appearing in the new Denzel Washington flick, Flight. Washington plays a high functioning alcoholic — or one of The Guys — who drinks throughout the film, including behind the wheel and while flying as an airline pilot.
“We would never condone the misuse of our products, and have a long history of promoting responsible drinking and preventing drunk driving,” Rob McCarthy, vice president of Budweiser, wrote in a statement to distance his company from the film.
Responsible uses of Budweiser, according to sanctioned uses of their label in commercials, include: building a house out of Bud Light cans, animal husbandry and horse cart driving, picking up chicks in darkened bars, sports superstition, and drinking it for the sake of it being (in their words) “drinkable.”
As for Stoli, nothing good ever comes from drinking that. Nothing you’d tell your parents about, anyway.
But, still: good looking out for your brands’ reputations, morons. After all, bad things only happen to drunk drivers.
Luckily enough, zombies tend to be a ground based problem. Sure, we spend the majority of our time on the ground, but hey, as long as we’re not there, perhaps in the sky instead, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
Except now we’re giving them plane tickets.
A Swedish woman was recently given a refund of 50 percent of her plane ticket after spending her flight beside a corpse. Her seatmate, a mysterious man from Kenya, had been sweating and convulsing through the beginning of their flight to Tanzania, when after the flight had taken off, the man died.
How this man, a person who was clearly suffering from the effects of the Solanum, was allowed to buy a ticket, much less admitted onto the plane, thus putting all of the passengers and potentially more people below in danger, we’ll never know.
Hey there guy and/or girl! Are you an unemployed foreigner who wants to get out of Japan? Of course you are! We all are! Well, now you’ve got a free ride, and it’s all courtesy of the Japanese government.
Just don’t expect to get back in, though.
Foreigners in Japan on Nikkei visas and are out of a job now have a free plane ticket home. A nice sum of 300,000 yen (roughly $3043 dollars US as of the time of writing) will be given to the head of the household; 200,000 yen to dependents. Book your flights and adios. But there is a cost here: no coming back. If you take payment, you’re agreeing to give up the right to claim Japanese heritage to get back into Japan (on a visa) in the future. Tough break, weeaboo.
That’s kind of nice, don’t you think? “If you wanna go, go. Oh, and here’s some money to do so.” Just be careful of the vigilant militia of former pilots that patrol the airports.