Houston sees fire ants, rain

Thanks to Hurricane Harvey, Houston is largely underwater. (And the rest of us have to deal with that alliteration.) A few people have died, but pretty much everyone there has had their life disrupted in a way that may not be reparable. And it gets worse.

Now Houstonites Houstonians Hueguenots citizens of Houston have to deal with another threat: floating bands of fire ants that are pissed off about their situation. The ants form into giant balls that float on the floodwaters as a means of survival. That’s correct, not even historic flood levels will kill these bastards. So anyone forced to trudge through the water, aside from worrying about getting swept away, has to watch out for the ants, because if they are disturbed, they will attack, and they are called fire ants for a reason.

So if you can’t donate money, or send old clothes, send these poor people some ant spray.

It’s not a quiet storm that’s a-coming

A group of scientists met at the California Institute of Technology last week to discuss what would happen if recent storms in California were to continue for weeks instead of days.

Should we expect the great island of California? Will DC Comics fictional world of Sub Diego become a reality?

Nah, just lots of mudslides and water up to your head. Which, in my case, means that I’ll have already drowned 10 minutes beforehand.

A message to our western readers

The Guys are really sad to hear about the End of the World that has recently hit your neck of the woods. As some of you are no doubt aware, our own Rick Snee was within a couple miles of a tornado recently, and yours truly saw some really deep water a couple years ago, so we are practically experts on the End of the World coming to a world near you.

We do sincerely extend our regrets to all of you, and hope you don’t fall off into the ocean, as so many cinematic experiences would suggest. We would miss you terribly if you left us, and we hope the loss of vital utilities, like electricity, will not keep you from reading us.

Just to update everyone else: it’s snowing in San Diego (Spanish for “What is this ‘precipitation’ you speak of?”), stranding lots of people. But more entertainingly, a billion gallons of tainted water are set to cause a massive tidal wave in Colorado. And finally, Texas is blowing up.