Cue single tear and slow clap

There are lots of heroes in this world. There are the fictional kind, like Captain America, Superman and Bill Pullman. There are the real kind, like Dr. Martin Luther King and non-Hitler mustache Michael Jordan. And then there are the ones that are never known. It’s not that we don’t encounter them in our lives, it’s just that we have no idea who they are.

We had another moment like that this week.

A pair of dismembered alligators were seen near an elementary school. Their tails missing, the bodies lay there as a stark reminder to all animals of their place in life. Sadly, we have no idea who the great champions were that did such an act. Employees of Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission are pinning the “blame” (if such a word can actually be attributed to an act as great as it was) on hunters, taking their tails for meat purposes and skedaddling. If that’s so, then we would like to commend them.

Alligators aren’t the American bison. We can’t use all of their body parts. Hell, it took a bulldozer to deal with the bodies! These reptiles were more than likely up to no good. Their fates were justified. Children shouldn’t have been traumatized by this incident, but inspired by it.