Tag: florida supreme court

If you give a lawyer a ticket

Florida's last legal recourse is to shame morons into turning their car stereos down by having Ice Cube pull up next to them.
Florida’s last legal recourse is to shame morons into turning their car stereos down by having Ice Cube pull up next to them.

It’s not every day that you encounter the perfect storm of douche.

Clearwater lawyer, Richard Catalano, struck a freedom blow for obnoxious douchebags in his home state of Florida on Thursday. He took his $73 ticket for blasting Justin Timberlake songs in his car at a volume that police say could be heard more than 25 feet away all the way to the Florida Supreme Court and, unfortunately for everyone on his commute, won.

Just in case his obnoxiousness was in question, Catalano argued (correctly) that his right to loudly share his terrible music with everyone is within his First Amendment rights. So, be sure to thank Catalano with your First Amendment rights and tell him to turn his sh%&ty music down.

So, let’s go to the scoreboard: Florida (1), lawyer (2), loud car stereo (3), that is blasting Justin Timberlake (4),  challenges $73 ticket in the state’s highest court (5), arguing that said ticket violates the First Amendment (6) and being annoyingly right (7)? We are officially at DoucheCon 1 … or 5 … whichever means we want to die.

Schadenfreude: Sometimes it does taste like justice

Alright, it’s Friday. You think you don’t need a strong pick-me-up to start your favorite weekday. But is it 5 o’clock yet?

Yeah, didn’t think so. You still have to finish up the week’s drudgery while the kids off from school are already “warming up” the pool. (Don’t open your eyes underwater.) And you still need to fudge your time card before you sit in traffic with all of the other TGI-mother-Fers.

What you need is a steamy cup of all-natural Schadenfreude.

Jack Thompson, who you should be familiar with if you’ve ever read this blog or listened to a parent about video games, is in danger of being “found guilty on 27 of 31 counts of misconduct” by the Florida Supreme Court.

That’s right: Mr. Listen-to-me-because-I’m-a-lawyer may be demoted to crazy-angry-guy-on-talk-shows. He won’t be able to legally exploit the families of slain police officers because he can’t figure out the squares and circles on a Playstation controller.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.