New relationships are exciting because they’re full of “firsts”:
- The first date
- The first kiss
- The first awkward transition into a 69 position
- The first proposal of a threesome, followed immediately by
- The first fight
But, there’s another first that’s livening up Canadian relationships (I know, Canada again?): the first transmission of the human papillomavirus or HPV.
According to a couple of studies published in in the January issues of the journal Epidemiology and the journal Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Montreal researchers found that 56 percent of their 263 female enrollees contracted HPV from their new boyfriends. 44 percent got the ones with extra sauce that can cause cancer.
The scary part is that 40 percent of those who used condoms still tested positive for HPV.
Of course, groin doctors asking patients if they used condoms is kinda like dentists asking if you floss. If they find something, you don’t want to give them “I told you so” ammo.
So, if you’re still wondering what to get your significant other for Valentine’s–just 30 shopping days left!–might we suggest looking down on yourself?