Cookie doughs and don’ts

We have some further bad news for you, people who just went through a break-up: it’s just not safe to eat raw cookie dough.

We know. You always thought  it was safe to eat because eggs are pasteurized, but what about the flour? You didn’t consider the flour, did you? You never do, and that’s how we got into this crazy, mixed-up place.

It turns out that, this whole time? A lot of flour contains E. coli, which is fine, so long as you cook it. If you can’t be bothered to preheat an oven and operate a spatula 10-20 minutes later, then you become a statistic. At the very least, you can buy cookie dough ice cream, which is treated for raw consumption/putting on those healing pounds.

On the other hand, there is good news: booze gets you unsafe sex. So, put down that tube and tape on a couple of 40s. Your future kids will thank you.