Brought to you by letters H, N, number 1

For 40 years, we’ve watched dogs and bears and pigs and stuff live with humans consequence-free on an untraceable New York neighborhood known as Sesame Street.

But 40 years of propaganda cannot cover up the very real threat of swine flu.

Elmo and, human cast member, Gordon have teamed up with U.S. federal agencies, including the Department of Health and Human Services, to teach kids to cover their f$%king mouths when they sneeze and wash their damn hands before bringing us our beers.

That’s all well and good, but they’re still harboring Patient Zero.