We all have social media these days, which means we all know that people we haven’t physically talked to in five years like to post stuff attacking a group of people they’re not a part of. Women who hate their husbands love to post memes about how men are pussies when they get a cold. Science says you’re wrong, ladies.
A new study has found that when men complain about cold or flu symptoms, it could be because they actually feel the effects more than women. That’s right, the popular “man flu” meme is crap because men’s immune systems leave them at greater risk for serious systems and even death.
And you know what else makes a cold worse for men? When you won’t just leave us alone.
Hello, reader. According to these notes from the nurse who just examined you, “Dr. Snee is a horse’s ass who never reads charts and just gives everyone antibiotics.”
Well, it looks like I’m a horse’s ass who can read, thank you Nurse Lattimer, and I’m prescribing you about six months’ worth of penicillin for what’s about to be a chronic case of Unemployment in This Job Market. (You can find that in the Big Doctor’s First Medical Picture Book under “E. tadick.”)
If you’re one of Her Majesty’s loyal subjects, and you’re coming down with some sort of bug, it’s your civic duty to tweet about it, and be as graphic as possible.
The U.K. Food Standards Agency has found that sifting through social media can help determine where spikes in illnesses, like the flu, are happening. This will allow officials to track such outbreaks faster than ever. And that’s why it’s relying on people to go to social media to report their symptoms.
Folks, this is why we fight socialized medicine here in the U.S.
Every few years, I find that it’s time to clean out the old lexicon. Everyday language is a constantly evolving collection of trendy phrases from movies, literature, music and–as The Guys would like to think–blogs.
But as time marches on, those phrases cease to remain useful. Sometimes they’re no longer relevant, other times they’ve been brow-beaten so low that they no longer hold any real meaning. It’s time to flush these five clichés so we can make room for newer, more interesting terms.