Traffic accidents kill Americans every day, and an untold number of them are caused by animals. Now the beasts are trying to get us tickets and arrests, too.
In Florida, police say a man who ran a stop sign blamed the incident on a fly that flew into his mouth. Rather than let the man go based on the undeniable veracity of his claims, the officer pressed on with his questions. He soon learned the man had no ID on him, and according to police, gave a fake name, then gave a second fake name after he was arrested.
Of course, authorities refused to see that the fly the man had swallowed was controlling what he said.
Some may question President Barack Obama’s resolve to take action on unemployment, end detainment at Guantanamo Bay or reform U.S. immigration policy. But there’s one policy he’s remained consistent on for both terms: there’s only one person allowed to be fly in the White House. (She’s the one rockin’ bangs.)
A fly attempted to derail the president’s nominations to head the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau before even Republicans in the House and Senate got a chance to deny them. Obama was able to reinforce his no-fly zone with a warning swat.
During a televised interview in 2009, Obama authorized a hand strike on an insurgent fly, the first sitting president to do so against a domestic animal since Teddy Roosevelt slapped a bear for eating his son Quentin’s ice cream.
This should help silence critics who believe that the president is weak on the War on Animals, but it won’t.