A nerd at NASA thinks that he’s found evidence of aliens. Me, I think he’s found a picture of a dong.
Richard Hoover discovered fossils of bacteria in an extremely rare kind of meteorite. If you’re going to find an alien, I suppose those are the best conditions-super specific rare. After breaking apart the extremely rare meteorite, Hoover looked at the fragments with a scanning-electron microscope. What did he find? Micro-organisms, and kids, there’s picture evidence.
Oh, how there is picture evidence.
Look at the picture! It looks like a wang. A long, slithery wang. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it is an alien. If it is an alien, given that shape, well, to be honest, we’re boned.
You like the legendary Nanotyrannus? What about ol’ Torosaurus, the three horned champion of plant eaters? Well guess what? Science says these and others may not have actually existed.
Your childhood has officially been raped.
Many dinosaur species are experiencing a second extermination—death by reclassification. Thanks to new technologies (and essentially Occam’s Razor in some cases) that allow paleontologists to analyze the tissues in dinosaur fossils, many paleontologists are discovering that dinosaurs we once thought of as separate species are actually part of the same species, simply at different stages of their development. The Nanotyrannus, supposedly a diminutive cousin of the Tyrannosaurus Rex is probably just a juvenile version of the latter species. Similarly, the Torosaurus and the Dracorex hogwartsia (seriously, that’s the name) have been stricken from the books, as they are likely members of previously discovered species.
A paleontologist estimates that a third of dinosaur species currently listed are actually members of other speicies. So how were these creatures mislabeled for so long? As science becomes better able to determine the growth stage of dinosaur fossils, they are finding that many species retain their juvenile characteristics longer than previously believed, and as dinosaurs age, their characteristics undergo drastic changes.
In other words, some species of dinosaurs may have simply been late bloomers.
Heh … Heh heh-heh-hehehe-heh.
OK, we’re fine. So … U.S. authorities seized some bones and gave them to China.
*Snrkt* And it’s funny again. Heh-heh … Hehehehehe-heh.
Scientists love looking at dead animals, the deader and older, the better. Some like it because they are morbid, godless homosexuals seeking to find their beloved Devil. Others like it because they get to learn things, like how animals were before we came along and killed them off.
One such fine example is in North Dakota, where an extremely rare fossil has been found: a mummified dinosaur. The mummy, which is oddly enough not wrapped in toilet paper, nor was it found in a temple, is a nearly complete example of a dinosaur and will give paleontologists (godless and warriors alike) the chance to see how these monstrous creatures really looked, with, you know, flesh on them.
However, this blog is still hesitant. The dinosaur is now as hard as rock or even metal. This cannot go well should the dino wake up.
In other news, have you ever wanted to have your very own mastodon? You can’t, of course. They are all dead thanks to a little genocide on the part of our ancestors. You can, however, own a mastodon skeleton if you go to the right garage sale. A
hippie San Fransisco resident is selling a mastodon skeleton she has just lying around in her garage. You know how easy it is to acquire junk.
The best news of all is that you don’t have to live in the area to buy it, you just need to have $115,000 and the ability to place a bid on eBay. Happy hunting!