Seeya, Las Vegas

NEWSFLASH: If you say that it’s irresponsible to blow your savings in Las Vegas, then their mayor will never be your friend!

That’s the lesson President Barack Obama has learned as Mayor Oscar “Unfortunate First Name” Goodman has rebuffed his visit to Las Vegas. Goodman refused to greet the President at the airport and has publicly declined any meetings until Obama calls to “rectify the situation.”

Look, folks. Las Vegas isn’t just some other desert city formed by gangsters for legal gambling and prostitution. It’s a city with feelings. To imply that it’s expensive to stay in a hotel shaped like a giant pyramid, drink $10 cocktails all night, get married and divorced within 24 hours and lose your girlfriend in a high stakes poker match–as they advertise–is just plain mean.