Tag: gay

When he comes out of the closet, it’s to put on his outfit

Stan Lee was great during the 60’s and 70’s, as when he was partnered with Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko, he helped co-create Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Hulk, the X-Men and tons more. Well, follow fast, true believer, as he’s back. That’s right, Stan is creating another super-hero.

And this time, the super-hero is FABULOUS!

Yes, the octogenarian will soon unveil “the world’s first gay superhero”. On television, mind you. Because that’s only where actual stuff happens. The link is worth clicking simply for the awful Photoshop picture.

Unavailable for comment were Midnighter, Apollo, modern Batwoman, current The Question, Northstar, Wiccan, Hulkling, Anole, Karma and Freedom Ring, among others.

Take it from Snee: Vampires are totally real

Look, if you bring up Twilight to some of The Guys, they’ll all *pfft* and follow that up with a terse “whatevah.” (I know: we can be so mean.)

However, I can no longer remain silent. You see, young teenage girls who aren’t my wife, I’m … different. I’ve rejected all the limited, childish behaviors of my food-eating peers. I’ve seen dark things, terrible things. I’ve sipped immortality on gossamer wings wearing platform Doc Martins.

I guess what I’m trying to say … what I’m trying to tell you … but, what if you don’t like me? My kind is so lonely that I would give anything to spend all my time hanging out with a nice, less popular girl who likes art. We could talk about your hair.

Enough, my heart is tormented in a bleak darkness that I will no longer bear: I am a vampire. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Vampires are totally real

Take it from Snee: Why does Hollywood have a closet?

As a junkie for hard-hitting, earth-shattering news, I was floored yesterday.

There are drama queens who think they are floored, and then there was me: F-L-O-O-R-E-D. “Floo” and “red.” Julie came home to find me a quivering ball of twisted manflesh, unable to lift a hand from the office carpet. For lack of a better modifier, I was f–king floored.

What had me in such a gravity-conscience predicament? Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan came out of the closet. On the same day.

No, not with each other. Straight people don’t live in closets. Aside from the occasional pantry-dweller, us breeders live in rooms.

Fortunately, yesterday’s news was enough to raise one nagging question, which in turn got me off the floor and back to the keyboard: why is there still a closet in Hollywood? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Why does Hollywood have a closet?

Take it from Snee: What is a Huckamendment?

With Mike Huckabee being somehow considered a more viable presidential candidate than Ron Paul, the 10 million dollar question has been raised again: should we amend the Constitution to reflect “God’s standards?” Of course, it was a blanket statement made on a campaign stump with no elaboration, so we can only wonder what he meant.

From its very inception to today, the Constitution already jives with the word of God, falling just short of evoking Him in the preamble and including parables in red ink. I’m not sure where the problem lays, then.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: What is a Huckamendment?