Saddest kickball game in the world

If you think the rivalry between Camp Icheewicheetumtum and Camp Howzyafather for control over the Peepeehat Totem is intense, then think again.

The Gaza Strip is home to the biggest summer camp grudge since Meatballs: the scrappy, can-do U.N. campers vs. the militarized Hamas jocks. In fact, some masked men–believed to be Hamas counselors–raided the U.N. camp, “tying up guards and slashing tents and an inflatable pool.”

To date, the Hamas summer camp has refused to comply with U.N. requests, like permitting inspectors to take stock of their toilet paper supplies or appraise the content of their bug juice.

While Hamas police officers regret the bullying of their summer camp, hardliners opposed to the U.N. camp that teaches young men “folklore dancing” and other “weenie activities.”

Said one Hamas legislator: “NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDS!”

Zebras don’t change their stripes

Traditionally, zoos are a great place to go. You can spend the day taunting animals, as well as take notes on what the enemy looks like. But that’s not the case in Gaza, because nothing is normal in that part of the world.

At one zoo in Gaza, the zebras are not all they seem. Sure, they’re white with black stripes, but there’s just something off. The stripes on the legs are horizontal instead of vertical and their manes are not black. Why, these animals are imposters.

In fact, they are donkeys that are dyed to look like zebras. This means that the zebras that were supposed to be there are missing!