Speaking of Catholics who aren’t allowed to drive anymore, Pope Benedict Roman Numeral will be picked up from the airport by President George Bush. Unlike Mel, the Pope isn’t allowed to drive because he’s old.
The press is stunned by this unprecedented favor by a President, but The Guys aren’t surprised at all. By picking up the Pope from the airport, the President will have someone to help him move in January.
It’s an election year, and that means if you’re running for a certain office in the executive branch of the federal government, it’s time to choose your running mate. Now, though it may be April, there’s a chance your political party has not yet nominated you as their candidate because you don’t have enough electoral votes. Pay no heed to that! It never hurts to plan ahead. Just like cleaning your bathroom, if you get it done now, that’s one less thing you’ll have to worry about before the big party.
History has taught us many important things in choosing a potential vice president. The Guys are constitutional experts on this subject. For example: did you know that the VP’s only real job is to babysit the U.S. Senate, while calling the White House every 24 hours to see if president is still breathing? Now, with our expertise demonstrated, we present to you, how to choose a running mate. Continue reading How To: Select a running mate
“President Bush, who stayed up past his normal bedtime to watch the end of a stirring Super Bowl, called members of the New York Giants organization on Monday to offer his congratulations.
[…]
The game finished just after 10 p.m., which is later than Bush normally stays up.”
Holy underwear! Our President, the full-grownest of all full-grown American men, has a bedtime? And that bedtime is earlier than that of most 12-year-olds?
We begin this post with some very sad news from abroad. German beer sales are at their lowest in the past 15 years. Analysts are saying this means the German population is losing touch with its proud, beer-drinking culture. However, this blog suspects the Germans are merely busy preparing for other things. This blog suggests building and then tearing down a new Berlin Wall, so the Krauts have something to celebrate.
Now let’s head over to the States, where American drunkards refuse to let their need to bend an elbow get in the way of being responsible. A Wisconsin 911 operator, who no doubt is used to getting all kinds of unusual phone calls, got one that sets a new standard in drunken whoopsies: a drunk dial. A woman drunk dialed 911 saying she was took intoxicated to be driving. She said this as she drove along in her truck. Wonder how the cops knew to look for her?
“The woman’s boyfriend in the passenger seat suggested she call 911 to report her own drunken driving, so she did, Nehls said. The boyfriend was not driving, she said, because he was too drunk.”
