Demonic possession is grounds for divorce in Italy

Zuuly, you nut!

Here in America, they hand out divorces like free samples companies used to give out before they had budget cuts. But it’s not nearly that easy to end your marriage in Italy. In some cases, it takes an act of Satan.

An Italian court has granted a man a divorce from his wife because she is possessed by the devil. He claimed that since 2007, the woman has been displaying unusual behavior, which include an incident where she threw a church pew wind a single hand, and eyewitness account of her levitating. A priest, a monk and even her own sister attested to the woman’s strange behavior, and if people like that will testify against you, you’ve got to be a huge bitch.

Reportedly, exorcisms haven’t worked, and doctors can’t find a medical explanation for the woman’s behavior.

This guy has been living that “There is no Dana, only Zuul” scene from Ghostbusters for 10 years — without 300 ccs of thorazine. He should be up for sainthood.

Your spouse will haunt you after they die

Are you in a committed relationship? You may want to get out of it as soon as you can, because there’s a good chance that if that person dies, he or she will haunt you. It’s science–kind of.

According to a report from the University of Milan, 30 to 60% of widowed people say they have had some sort of contact with their deceased partner. Yes, up to 60% of people in a scientific poll–with not history of mental disorders–said they had seen or heard their dead significant other at least once after their passing.

Scientists say this could mean that “post-bereavement hallucinatory experiences” are more common than previously thought. We call it viral marketing for the Ghostbusters reboot.

The McBournie Minute: That’s enough, Dan Aykroyd

Hey internet, I have a request. I know I tend to come up with these from time to time, (example: stop posting pictures of your face, food and children every single day) but this one I think is a bit easier to embrace: stop getting worked up about another Ghostbusters movie. It’s never going to happen–at least in any form you recognize.

Like so many other people born in the 1980s, I’m enjoying seeing some of my favorite toys and cartoons reimagined on the big screen. I don’t necessarily enjoy the CGI-infested reboots myself, but it’s nice to see new generations getting their own chance with them. If nothing else, it makes me think my childhood wasn’t completely wasted.

But how about we stop clamoring for another Ghostbusters movie? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: That’s enough, Dan Aykroyd

The McBournie Minute: My favorite movies are secretly creepy

Like most people, my DVD library has a pretty obvious beginning and end to its collection. Just from a cursory glance, you can tell that the golden age of my DVDs was around 2002 to 2005, with a few purchases before and after that period. This doesn’t mean that all of my movies are a decade old, some of them are even older, but they were just re-released as on DVD during the aforementioned golden age.

As a whole, my selection seems to hold up pretty well today. For every mainstay like Animal House, there is a somewhat obscure misstep in choice like Collateral. The simple reason for why I bought so many movies during this time is that I was in college and Netflix didn’t exist. Often, I’d watch them while getting drunk with Bryan Schools. (We once had a passionate debate about the space-time continuum while while watching Back to the Future.)

I’ve realized in the years hence that I missed some things during these drunken debates. Turns out, some of my favorite movies have some downright creepy plot points. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: My favorite movies are secretly creepy

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Be Kind Rewind’

In its sweet, lackadaisical way, Michel Gondry’s Be Kind Rewind illuminates the pleasures and paradoxes of movie love. Its two main characters, a pair of Passaic, N.J., loafers named Mike and Jerry, are devotees of the Hollywood mainstream, paying tribute to well-worn classics like Ghostbusters, Driving Miss Daisy, Rush Hour 2 and The Lion King. The way they express this affection lands Mike and Jerry in a spot of copyright trouble, but they (and Gondry) provide a welcome reminder that even the slickest blockbuster is also a piece of handicraft, an artifact of somebody’s nutty, unbounded ingenuity and the potential object of somebody else’s innocent, childlike fascination. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Be Kind Rewind’

Too hot to handle, too cold to hold

There’s pink water in Ohio, which as we understand it, means it’s officially spring! According to the Lake County Department of Utilities northeast of Cleveland said the water was pink because of a chemical overload, but everything was just fine.

A spokesman explained it was simply an accident, and was in no way connected with the painting of Vigo the Carpathian across town, or Vigo’s search for a baby to live inside so he can once again rule the world. Nope, it was really just potassium permanganate. Nothing to see here, folks. At least not until New Year’s Eve.

You Missed It: When someone asks you if you’re a god you say ‘YES’ edition

Hello there, friend. How have you been? It seems like so long since last we talked. We missed you so much and we can’t wait to tell you all about the past week, because, well, you missed it.

I ain’t afraid of no guts
When last we saw them, Vladimir Putin Vigo the Carpathian had been vanquished back to the depths of hell, thanks to some great work by the Statue of Liberty and the assistance of the Ghostbusters. Now, Variety confirms, the boys are strapping on their proton packs after nearly 20 years. Sure, they may have packed on a few pounds, gone gray or even had mid-life crises (we’d include one about Ernie Hudson, but that’s just mean), but they are back for a third installment. Why? Because bustin’ makes them feel good. Also look forward to another Godfather installment.

Hottest grandmother ever?
The world got their first look at Republican candidate Sarah Palin on Thursday, but earlier in the week it was her daughter who was making headlines. Yes, 17 year-old Bristol Palin is pregnant by her super cute 18 year-old boyfriend hockey player. The couple said they had already talked about getting married, but the idea has come along farther since he slipped one past the goalie.

The Russkies strike
Hurricane Gustav hit the Gulf coast this week. Causing a lot of damage (and surfacing of fond memories) in New Orleans and elsewhere along the coast. So far, the exact toll of damage is unknown. The good news is that evacuees are safe and sound, because the aid FEMA had promised since Katrina just arrived last week.

Chrome sweet Chrome
Google went with a surprise release of its new Web browser, Chrome, this week. The browser is gear to work for more complicated web sites featuring Java, movies or other heavy duty page content. This is why you can’t click on links in Facebook. Thanks, Google!

Eat My Sports: Curses

Now who is paranoid?

After nearly a century of talking about some curse by some fat guy named “Babe” who had a candy bar, the 2004 edition of the Boston Red Sox ended all talk about curses. The 2007 guys made sure that the thought of any such nonsense was definitely put to bed.

Now baby Hank Steinbrenner is upset because a construction worker (oddly enough, who was from the Bronx) added a David Ortiz jersey to the foundation of the new Yankee stadium in order to try and curse the team. So, when construction workers are trying to place a paranormal curse on your new building, who you gonna call? Continue reading Eat My Sports: Curses