Saying ‘Shell-no!’ to shellfish

Nature sent their latest crustacean warriors at us recently and we found them wanting.

Their first pair of warriors may have been a miscalculation on their part. In Maine, a duo of fishermen dredged up two albino lobsters (warning: autoplay). Their uncolored, all-honkey nature makes them poor warriors and even worse spies, though what’s truly scarier is the news that we’ll have to break to Joe Bates:

“He’s a survivor and he’s one of a kind, and I mean that in a good way,” said Bates.

Then, in Florida, a man caught a shrimp estimated to be a foot and a half long! Not out in the deep sea, but at a dock! The crustacean was this close to striking land! And then, the man that found it, Steve Bargeron, made the worst mistake of his life. Unlike the fishermen in Maine, who dropped off the albino lobsters at a top-flight research facility, Bargeron, after taking pictures of the monster shrimp, threw it back into the water. WHAT?! How can we study our enemy when pity is taken upon them? For shame, sir. For shame.