Royally drunk: Queen Elizabeth is a binge drinker

The picture was taken at six in the morning.

Queen Elizabeth II hasn’t had a job since her father died. She lives a life every little girl dreams of: living in a big, fancy palace with as many puppies as she wants. She’s 91 and still going strong. Is the secret to her longevity her access to first-rate health care and a lavish lifestyle funded by British taxpayers? No, it’s booze.

According to reports, the queen drinks four drinks a day. She drinks a gin and Dubonnet (a sweet aperitif) before lunch, a gin martini during lunch, then a glass of wine at the end of lunch. So she’s feeling quite jovial and it’s barely the afternoon. She then sobers up with tea in the afternoon and has a glass of champagne before going to bed at night.

That adds up to six units of alcohol by British standards, which the UK government considers binge drinking.

Canada apologizes, recalls high-proof gin for being too awesome

There is a land, a magical land, where your favorite booze is twice as strong as it used to be. And for a short time, that wonderful land was Canada.

The Canadian Food Inspection Agency announced that it is recalling 1.14 liter bottles (Really? 1.14 liters?) of Bombay Sapphire gin because it’s a higher proof than what the label says. It’s supposed to be 80 proof, but the bottles in question are more like 154 proof because they weren’t diluted properly. This means that unless they are foolish enough to return their treasures, some lucky Canadians are going to really enjoy the NHL playoffs.

The Guys are already planning a road trip.

Study: Psychos like coffee, G&Ts

Did you enjoy a nice, hot cup of coffee this morning? Are you looking forward to having a gin and tonic at happy hour this afternoon? Congratulations, you’re probably a psychopath.

A recent study has found that people who say they enjoy coffee, or gin and tonic, are more likely to have characteristics of psychopathy. Basically, coffee and G&Ts are the drinks of psychos. If you like those drinks, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a psycho yourself, but it might.

But if you like coffee in your gin and tonic, you’re a freaking serial killer.

Finally, a gin that makes you look younger

Alright kid, you've had enough for tonight.
Alright kid, you’ve had enough for tonight.

Do you drink? Do you enjoy gin, but hate that you’re drinking yourself into an early grave? Are you easily swayed by gimmicks? We’ve got the gin for you.

Enter Anti-aGin, a gin distilled from collagen, and who doesn’t love the taste of collagen? As people who don’t read this site will know, collagen is stuff that’s good for your skin. It helps your skin stay firm. The loss of collagen overtime is one of the effects of aging. Not that it’s backed up by science, but the thinking is that if you can drink collagen, you’ll enjoy a buzz and get a nice, youthful glow. That’s assuming your cheeks aren’t flushed from drinking in the first place.

Like most other shady sounding beverages we feature, Anti-aGin is only available in the U.K. Write your congressman today and tell them you want to drink from the fountain of youth.

Drunkards in the mist

Improper lifting can lead to injury.
Improper lifting can lead to injury.

What’s the worst part about drinking? Having to move the glass to your lips and pour your drink down your throat, then putting the glass back down. What a hassle! One London bar is putting a stop to it.

When you walk into Alcoholic Architecture, you don’t drink at all. You just sit there and absorb the booze through your skin and lungs. The pub sprays a mist of gin and tonic (it’s England) into the air. That way, you don’t need to wait for the liquor to work its way through your digestive system–who wants to wait 20 minutes, anyway? Instead, it gets pumped directly into your system.

The place is considered a pop-up bar, probably because it will get shut down soon.