Tag: golf balls

Maybe Bubba Gump was onto something

"Get in my belly and on my tee!"Lobsters: if they’re not the second most jerks of the sea (number one on the hit list continuing to be dolphins), then they’re certainly built to be. With an armored carapace, large claws made solely for destruction and a dead look in their eyes, the beasts are essentially zombies of the sea.

Or medieval accountants.

The human race has long known the delicious spoils of war against the crustaceans, but no longer will we know just that reward. Thanks to a scientist, we’ll now be able to deal with the arthropods as the Native Americans did with the buffalo.

Well, that is, if the Native Americans ever played golf.

It takes balls to get to bottom of Loch Ness

Actual illustration of the crime scene from local authorities.Loch Ness, fabled home to Nessie, an alleged prehistoric monster that occasionally reveals herself to drunk Scotsmen, is home to an historic find: balls. Lots and lots of balls.

No, we don’t mean that she, Nessie, is actually a he, but that we may not be able to find her because locals having been using the Loch for years as a driving range. Thousands of golf balls litter the floor as far out as 300 yards from the beach.

After a constant bombardment of golf balls, and a lake of recent sightings, SeriouslyGuys has the balls evidence to officially declare Nessie dead. Good going, Scots. Maybe you can start hunting down Bigfoots (Bigfeet?).

It’s either that or, if the submarine expeditions can find something as small as golf balls, could it be that the giant dinosaur doesn’t exist?