Minty-fresh, gonorrhea-free

I mean, your mouth was full already.

As mentioned earlier, we’re about three months deep in the official holiday season, which means peppermint-flavored everything that goes in your mouth. And now, we really mean everything, because Listerine could help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs) of antibiotic-resistant bacterial gonorrhea.

Not only does Listerine kill bacterial gonorrhea in culture dishes, but when gargled by 196 men being treated for gonorrheal throat infections, 80 percent of those men were gonorrhea-free five minutes later.

So, it looks like we’ll be putting out a peppermint stick for Ol’ Saint Nick when he’s coming down our chimney now.

(Apologies to Andy Williams, but … you know what? No. Andy got that song stuck in our heads and now we’re ruining it with Aquafresh-flavored dick. Deal with it.)

Wyoming wants you to forget that it has gonorrhea

There are some dirty places in Wyoming, and the state wants people to know that some of those dirty places are infected.

The state health department began an STD awareness campaign recently, which included buying billboard reading, “Wyoming has gonorrhea. Do you?” The sign attracted a lot of attention, but unfortunately not the kind it wanted. Wyoming’s gonorrhea sign went viral (heh), and it offended some people.

So much pressure built up that the sign was taken down last week. Now the world may never know if Wyoming has any other diseases.

Ask Dr. Snee: The new AIDS

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Ask Dr. Snee. I’m your doctor, Dr. Snee.

In honor of the passing of Richard Dawson, I’ve changed things up a bit today. I’m still answering your medical letters, but have also surveyed a group of comatose patients using a series of electrical shocks and ranked their responses by popularity. Also, I printed out each letter this week and kissed and politely groped them when I thought nobody was looking.

And the subject of all of today’s letters? The new AIDS … I’m gonna go wash up after fondling those emails.

Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: The new AIDS

Sharing VD means caring

While we’re on the topic of Valentine’s Day, there’s another V.D. you need to be aware of today, and that’s venereal disease.

The disease du jour is gonorrhea. In the spirit of finding one’s soulmate, gonorrhea only infects humans and has done so since Biblical times and probably earlier. Why such a deep connection? It could be gonorrhea’s shared human DNA fragment, which scientists recently discovered in its genome.

That’s right: