Ask Dr. Snee: The new AIDS

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Ask Dr. Snee. I’m your doctor, Dr. Snee.

In honor of the passing of Richard Dawson, I’ve changed things up a bit today. I’m still answering your medical letters, but have also surveyed a group of comatose patients using a series of electrical shocks and ranked their responses by popularity. Also, I printed out each letter this week and kissed and politely groped them when I thought nobody was looking.

And the subject of all of today’s letters? The new AIDS … I’m gonna go wash up after fondling those emails.

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Sharing VD means caring

While we’re on the topic of Valentine’s Day, there’s another V.D. you need to be aware of today, and that’s venereal disease.

The disease du jour is gonorrhea. In the spirit of finding one’s soulmate, gonorrhea only infects humans and has done so since Biblical times and probably earlier. Why such a deep connection? It could be gonorrhea’s shared human DNA fragment, which scientists recently discovered in its genome.

That’s right: