This has been a particularly rough week, which in 2018 is really saying something. So let’s end it with a dick joke, shall we?
In Australia, because of course that’s where this happened, someone drew a huge penis and testicles in the sand of a dry lake bed. How do we know this? Because it’s on Google Maps. At this point, Google has to know about it, but they haven’t done anything about it. It’s still up there. Free and in the breeze.
Thank you, prankster. Let’s see if there are any more wangs around the world.
It’s just about the end of the day, and that means you’ve nearly survived April Fools’ Day, which is easily the worst day to have an internet connection. Suddenly, everyone thinks it’s a good idea to announce something jaw dropping and seeing who believes them, and even companies are getting in on the action.
It wasn’t always like this. April Fools’ Day used to be a day of elaborate pranks to get a rise out of people. It was once known as a day to either seek a playful revenge on a rival or get the goat of a good friend. No one puts Lifesavers in their friends’ shower head anymore, no one leaves a pair of pants on top of some shoes in the office bathroom stall and counts the hours until the EMTs are called. Today we settle for Facebook pictures of someone’s cubicle filled with packing peanuts.
What the hell happened to April Fools’ Day? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: How Google killed April Fools’ Day
When I’ve done a Google search for my name, it usually comes up with the artwork of a 90’s era comic book artist or some internet guy (not me, though).
Somehow, that’s still marginally better than being confused with a major crime lord. Marginally, even in Australia.
Google, in all of its infinite wisdom (and money), decided that it would be a smart idea to see what Google would do if it was a person on the internet.
So, with the power of 16 thousand computers, Google did that very thing, simulating a brain to test the act. What did this Google e-homunculus do?
It went to Youtube and searched for cats.
I turn 30 tomorrow.
I was born two weeks late according to some doctors, and what do they know? So, it seemed appropriate to not put off this birthday and show a little more dignity than the day I said good-bye to my gills.
And you know what? It’s not so bad (, he said the day before). Some things are different, but most of them have been slowly evolving that way since 25 or so.
And then, there are the overnight changes. And they’re drastic enough that you should probably keep me chained to a radiator throughout the night, no matter what I say, and keep a silver one in the chamber. Just in case. What could possibly go wrong, you ask? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Newly-minted ‘old man’ rants about Google+
A huge announcement was made today, which could really change the game for someone with a bit of a “Google problem.”
No, that “someone” isn’t Rick S@ntorum. Even as a comedy site, we still try to focus on viable presidential candidates. (And we’ve written about both Palin and Trump in our archives.) Plus, we’re trying to stay Safe For Work.
We’re actually talking about Cleveland, which has been trying to shake off what we assume started as an innocent reference to their carpet cleaning business. But, will this latest attempt work, and is it worth it?
You guys! The Wizard of Oz, an inanimate piece of film starring dead actors, turned 71 today!
Sure, it’s not a round number and it doesn’t even coincide with quarter centuries, but still! Here’s 71 facts about the movie! (Get it? One for each year? Eh?)
And you know what’s really weird? It’s also Hitler’s mother’s 150th birthday! So happy birthday, Wizard of Oz and History’s Greatest Human Embodiment of the Argument for Abortion Ever!
Here it is: the official start of summer. I bet you’re not even doing work right now. You’re just thinking about the long weekend ahead and how you’re going to spend it. Speaking of which, we’re off on Monday, too. So there’s a fair chance even we aren’t working right now. But as one last send off, let’s take a look back, shall we? If you were busy voting on don’t ask don’t tell, odds are you missed it.
The show may still be airing in a parallel universe
Two of television’s biggest shows signed off for the last time this week. On Sunday, Lost ended, followed a day later by 24. One show was famous for its action, character development and dizzying amount of plot twists, and the other one was Lost. In the thrilling conclusion, we found out that Jack Bauer was really the polar bear.
No iAdmission at the game
It came to light this week that Yankee Stadium treats iPads like outside drinks and food, and of course, firearms–they are not allowed. People have reported being turned away from the gates for having an iPad on their person. But don’t worry, Yankees fans, gold chains and hairy backs are A-OK!
Binging yourself just sounds weird
A recent study found that over half of American adults have Googled themselves. The survey suggests that adults use the tool to manage their online reputation and see what over people can find out about them. Those who said they have never Googled themselves said their wives just aren’t into that sort of thing.
Michael Steele has had a rough year as chairman of the Republican National Committee, a job that is normally faceless in the media … unless your party is intentionally touting you in the public eye to look “totally not racist.” (Seriously, try to name his predecessor without resorting to Google or Wikipedia.)
As a direct result of this situation, he’s been a punching bag for mostly his own party, making him effectively the Donovan McNabb of Republican politics. Every other week, he’s been almost fired or admonished like he left a wax build-up on Judge Smail’s golf shoes.
So, when a viewer of ABC’s Good Morning America asked the $50 million question, Steele responded that, yes, he does have “a smaller margin for error because he is African American.”
Unfortunately, he didn’t finish that thought to make it completely correct: wouldn’t it be nice if all politicians were held to the standard that the black ones are? That every spending incongruity over $2000 were investigated with as much zeal? That every ill-planned trip to Hawaii be reconsidered? That any time a politician steps in it, their future in politics is questioned?
There’s a reason for that, says Google-WE NEED MOAR INTERWUBZ, NAOW!